The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
mary if you feel like it, many of these wonderful bros and sis do not know of your struggle to get where you are.
Would you mind sharing how things went from when you lost your home and pets,and plants to now?
I know it always made me feel so proud of you. I learned from you too. Plus I love how you will have a growth spurt and have a realization and come and share it!
This gal works the program! And she's cute too! (o:
What a lovely thought. I think I do share that a great deal that I struggle every single day even today 2 years on from leaving the ex A. . I know for me the journey to losing the home I shared with the ex A was one of paralysis, rage, grief and not being able to accept his dire addiction on any terms at all. The journey out was to accept that he was indeed addicted and did not want recovery in any shape or form and I could not make him better no matter how much I loved, gave or committed to him. My own recovery from that was about really being willing to work this program and look at any opportunity that comes my way.
I would also have to say I'm not especially thrilled about my life at the moment. I can't say I like working part time (especially in the capacity I'm working in) or living in a house where other alcoholic live (where I live because its about the only place I could find where I could take my pets) but I try not to make it a greek tragedy each day. I really work at daily finding things to be grateful for, not because I exactly want to but because my sponsor suggested it and I found after a while that this tool did indeed help me to move from being absolutely immobilized with rage and resentment to having some measure of joy.
There were many many months were I was absolutely paralyzed with rage, despair and immobiity about my situation. There is no question this room helped me immeasurably to move through that. I went to meetings here, I worked on my issues here and I found immense acceptance, care, love understanding and tools that have helped me in ways I could not imagine. I also found a home where I could be honest about how very difficult my life has been and continues to be.
There is also no question that the guidance and help I receive from people in this program have markedly affected my quality of life and ability to cope with many issues I would really rather not face day in and day out. I do not have a happy ending that I left the alcoholic and my life changed overnight. I knew leaving him would be a great great challenge. This room helped me to face down those challenges.
great share Maresie; I am also a fan of yours, like Debilyn (I am a fan of Debilyn, too) and have been gifted with the experience of watching you grow here on MIP. I think you embody great dignity and honesty and I have learned a lot from you. Thanks again, hugs, J.
Thanks debilyn for asking Maresie to tell her story. I hadn't heard all of it and it truely is an awe inspiring journey that she has made. I have followed your posts too, Maresie, on this board and find you to be an incredible tower of strength, under opposing odds. Keep up the good work and keep working your program and you'll get to where you are going!
Yeah, I don't think that we talk about, enough, what it's like now. iremember when you were going through all that. You were such a brave person, and you were doing such amazing thing. It was such a big deal for you. I was/am so proud of you. I know that you're not where you wanna be; I understand that. But I hope that by telling your story you can remind yourself how far you've come.
One thing I get from reading your posts is a dose of honesty based on reality. I like that. And I am reminded that I need to be sure to live in reality as well, despite my apparent giftedness at pretending things are what they are not.
I like that you don't seem to sugar coat things. Openly admitting that leaving (or staying) with the A isn't a "quick fix", and furthermore can be a strenuous struggle.
You bring great insight, experience, strength and hope to this board.
I always gain a great deal from your shares. You have an inner strength and determination that is inspiring to me. Your honesty about your situation is a lesson in reality and acceptance, two things I'm working on.
I am grateful to you Maresie and to all that share their es&h, and take time to demonstrate their working of the program, often you may not realise just how beneficial it is to others here. Your service work is very much appreciated.
maresie wrote:I do not have a happy ending that I left the alcoholic and my life changed overnight.
Ah - but you have a happy BEGINNING in that you have been able to string together baby steps like a beautiful chain of dewdrops on early morning grass - and look how far you've come.
I always learn something from your shares and this one is no different. Thank you for sharing with us. Hang in there and keep working the program, as you have been. You are doing well.
