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Well its Friday... So I must have survived yet another week, I was sure would be the end... So I guess things must be looking up... Today I am in a desent mood, I think mainly because my Boy made it thru his first year of middle school with, No Drama, (Other then the fall on the steps), no kids picking, no fighting, it was wonderful, and he past with Flying colors...I am so blessed to have him in my life, I thank God everyday... For he is my One and Only...
Weather is still trying to drag me down, the rain I don't think has stopped all week, but rumor has it tomorrow I will Stop... I am crossing my fingers for Every muscle in my body hurts when it rains for this long...
Seems everywere I look there are things for "Father's Day" right in my face.. I would always take my father out to a "Real" Restaurant to eat for Fathers Day, that was our thing, he never wanted anything so dinner was good for both of us, for it was my gift to him, and spending time together was my gift to myself...then afterwards we would hang out for a little bit (Usually at the local Bar), but it was a tradition I started some 10 years ago...I'm going to miss that (the Dinner that is:), for I miss him so much... Sometimes when I sleep it is almost like I can reach out and grab him, and other times he seems like a distant memory... Scarey really... I really never thought that at this point in my life I would be going to the grave yard for fathers day, instead of dinner... I guess I just thought I would have more time...
The other day I got a call from my Aunt... Tho I was very happy for her, her oldest son just had his 3rd and final child and it was a boy, (They had 2 girls)... Well this cousin was close to my Afather when he was young, but you know you grow up and everyone splits and you don't see each other unless there is a funeral, or wedding to attend...Well they gave this baby the Long Version of my Afathers name, and of course everyone will call him my fathers name..(Which of course is my Abrothers Name as well).... Thing is I don't know why this bothers me, I mean I am happy for them I am...But of the millions of names out there... This was their choice! I know there is something there, I just can't put my finger on it... Confusing I suppose...
So Still alot weighing on my mind here lately, I am doing my best to just keep putting one foot in front of the other, one moment at a time, but it still seems as tho I am at a small crawl... I know it will get better at some point, I just wish it was sooner then not... I know Progress not Profection, but this patiences thing is Killing me... HP must be trying to teach me something... I think I am failing so far...
Thanks for listening... Just alot of thoughts happening AGAIN... Love & Prayers for a Safe weekend for All Jozie
There's always different ways to see things. It's all an illusion until we choose which way our mind wants to play it out. It's also changeable (which was a epiphany for me).
You could perhaps .... See the new baby's name as an honor to your Dad. Or maybe not go to the graveyard for Father's Day (he is not there). Maybe take yourself on a picnic in a beautiful place and sit with Dad there. Start a new tradition. Still dinner with Dad, just sitting with his spirit. Be sure to keep your heart and eyes open while doing so. I bet anything Dad will show you he is in attendance.
Take what you like and leave the rest my friend :)
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
HI - I would assume they chose the name out of respect and love of your father . try and think of it as a gift a memorial to the man your father was , not only to you but to your cousin as well . Fathers day is tough I know my father was my hero for yrs , kindest most gentle man I have ever met . hang in there it gets easeir in time . Louise
