The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Went to see daughter. Her spirits are good, which helps. We met her and her guardian saint for lunch at a restaurant in the town she lives in. First thing she said, "I do not want to talk about Brad(soon to be ex)". I said fine, we will talk about anything you want to talk about.
When we all got up to leave after the meal, there we were; me with a bad hip, hubbie with a bad back and her guardian saint needing a knee replacement. So, we all 3 groaned with we stood up and she said "aren't we a fine group. You guys can't wakj & I can't see.A little sick humour, but she did laugh her wonderful laugh several times.
On her vision loss; it effects her left eye. For instance, if she were walking down a sidewalk, she could see her feet. If I were in front of her, perhaps she could see up to my knees. She is waiting for a doctor to call her back for a complete physical and an MIR. She told me that her hubbie wants to go with her. I told her I would not let her go alone. I will let him go. If he goes, I will stay home. I will let the two of them handle it.
When we got back to her house, I had a heart to heart with her. In a real soft voice, I told her that she knows what I want her to do; get legal representation. I told her I had her best interest at heart. I do not want to go for hubbie's jugular(just his tonsils) She said she would take it under consideration. I told her that right now, the top priority was her health, nothing else. Not the divorce; not getting the rest of her stuff out of the house, but her health, After a few minutes of discussing, she told me that her head, her eye was hurting and could we drop it. And I did.
This is a very mountain she has come upon. It is up to her to climb it and reach the top, in victory!!! I did tell her that if she needs to, she can come home until she can get all of this worked out( this is not enabling----right???? just the love of a mom for her daughter).
Thanks everyone for all your wonderful thoughts and concerns. I will keep you posted on what happens. Thanks again.
__________________
Clara
------------------------------------ What don't kill you, makes you stronger!!!
Sounds like you have a good meeting with her. I do know that I got terribly exhausted when I was with the ex A when his situation escalated to there was a crisis every other day. I then had to set even more limits than I had before in order to preserve my self. I'm not sure I would ever again offer my life and home to an addict no matter what the circumstances. I understand the impulse I also know that I no longer have that to give.
