The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm very new to this forum... have been lurking about for the last week and reading, and today I decided to register. So far, I have attended 2 of the online, chatroom Al-Anon meetings.
This is a big step for me, because I've been resistant to seeking group help/support via Al-Anon for many years.
The 2 largest obstacles for me were:
1. I don't need help.
2. Even if I did... my lack of belief in a higher power would be a huge crutch... and I would not be accepted anyway.
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I would like to reach out now... because for all of the years I have tried... and for all of the many "stages" I have experienced (sometimes many times over) -- I have come to accept that I am unable to truly accept and/or "get over" my mother's alcoholism.
My hope is that within the Al-Anon community, I will be accepted and not judged for not believing in an higher power... as I will not disrespect or judge anyone who does indeed hold that belief or embrace that faith.
I can not choose to believe any more so than a believer could chose not to...
What I do know is that I do have faith of some kind; I have faith in myself, I have faith in other people.
I would like to perhaps be connected to some other individuals who might also be inside of my same position... or, with individuals who wouldn't mind being accepting of my position.
I understand that belief in a higher power is a huge portion of the 12 step program... has anyone been successful with a 12 step program while at the same time having no belief in any higher power?
Welcome to the group. Please do not let your lack of belief in a higher power stop you from joining us. Many of us did not believe in a higher power when we came. Many of us have found a higher power of a different definition than you may be familiar with.
I guess what I am trying to say is that the concept of a higher power in this program is a very personal thing. You are free to work your program as you see fit. It is your program. Your HP or lack thereof, is your business. The program suggests that you find something to believe in, but that may be as simple as having faith that the power of a group of people, with experience dealing with similar problems, is greater than you to start with. That is something to believe in and have faith in.
Most importantly, you should know that you are not alone. Your dilema is the very same one that many of us have faced, and you are free to work it out, with our support, at your own pace and in your own way.
I hope you keep coming back. I want you to find the peace and serenity that I have found here, by working it out one day at a time, with this and other loving groups of people in this program.
In recovery,
-- Edited by Jen on Thursday 4th of June 2009 12:45:08 AM
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
I think you could pull it off, if you can overlook what you don't care for. The basic Alanon tools would still be very useful. I'm not a Christian and I allow others their beliefs, as they do mine. They might think I'm going to hell in a hand basket but they don't say it..lol
There are many forms of "higher power" It can be the wisdom of the people who went before you or the ideal you. There are also higher powers like, nature, the universe.
There are slogans like Let go and let God, but you can interpret that however you want. To me that means Let go and release it out in to the universe. I know what is meant by the saying, but I can still be here and have my own meaning. No one expects you to have "The God" to work the program. If they did I'd be looong gone. It is the God of your understanding, whatever that may be for you. Though, admittedly there are Christian undertones. We have Christians, Jews, Jehovah's Witness, Buddhists and people like me that don't have a label. There may already be a few Athiests, I don't know because we don't really care. Our focus is healing ourselves and learning how to deal with the affects of alcoholism.
It's all about tolerance and acceptance. We're all pretty good at it here. No one crams their God down your throat or for lack of a better phrase, Bible bangs. If someone mentions how good their God is to them, that's ok. It's their God. If they tell you to "Hand it over" (to God), hand it over where ever you want :)
Give us a try, see how it goes.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Jen and Christy have explain it beautifully and I endorse what they both say.
The Higher Power is a personal choice, however you perceive and whatever you perceive that to be.
I love the concepts of the universe and nature too for they are magnificent, remarkable, amazing and all powerful and everlasting, something humankind is beyond creating. Evolution in the universe, nature and humankind cannot be looked at without awe and a feeling of "...there must be something greater than me out there...", in my opinion.
So, I hope that from where you are standing today, you will not feel you cannot come here and share and lean and take what you feel is right for you in your own time and in your own unique way.
I do have a Higher Power, one that I have nurtured for many many years and come to know personally in my own way and I call my Higher Power God. I do not believe in demanding that others have the same understanding as me. I just know that God is the God of my understanding who has brought me through so very many storms and dark places.
However, and although the Al-anon has undertones of a Christian God at it's base, it is not a primary requisite that one embrace that as a Christian principle...it is a base to start from simply because the founder was Christian. It is emphasized again and again that it is the GOD OF YOUR UNDERSTANDING and Christy puts it into context; the message here and in Al-anon is take what you want and leave the rest.
No-one is here to judge you or push ideologies on to you...we are a family who care and share and try to help each other deal with the dreadful dysfunctions that alcoholism brings to our lives.
Just for today, accept that you are accepted here as you are. Just for today, accept that you will not be judged any less because you say you have no Higher Power (other than the faith you have in you). The fact that you have come here shows you are worthy of the power within this family...and for now, maybe that will become your higher power...the power of unity in a family of people who share the pain of alcoholism that has affected each and every one of us.
The power is in the first step to beginning a journey of healing, and together we can make that journey. The power is in the unity and the common understandings.
I hope you can accept just for today where you are, and start from there. Keep coming back, for it is clear that the suffering needs healing and so many of us have found that within this family, so why not you too? You are worth it.
With love, Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
5 1/2 years ago, I came here a bitter, full of hate and resentful AGNOSTIC....yea, I believed there was a God, but it was useless at best...punishing at worst...
Now, thanks to the miracle of recovery, I have accepted Jesus and became a christian...
b4 all of that, my higher power was the PROGRAM!!! That was enough for me then...I used the program as my higher power
I am glad you are here...HP or no HP...step 2 says "came to believe in a power greater than myself AS I UNDERSTAND IT"...that means whatever you think is your "light" or your "cosmic power within" or whtever.....its your CHOICE
If someone had *told* I *had* to believe?? I would have RUN!!!! the steps are *suggestions* not orders.....
I am free to work my program ANY way that works for me.....
Its OK to not have been able to believe...I didn't....and what I did believe in, I hated and distrusted.....it was OK..I ended up OK b/c I kept my mind OPEN and my heart OPEN.....In the program, I was honest....open....willing....open minded....That was enough....
Please stay ....You are WORTH it...You were created wiht the same amount of love that anyone else was.....
Always glad to see Newbies on the block... New experiences, New tough decissions, New Life... You have Come to the Right Place for Sure, if you are looking for "Experiences, Strength & Hope" AKA ESH...
My Father was my Alcoholic, I lost him Last Nov. to the Desease of Alcoholism, his choice, and I was "Powerless" over his disease... Not that it ever made me feel any better, but since he has past, and I found Al-Anon, I can now Love my Afather for Who he was and not WHAT he did to himself... I hope that you can come to that place as well, and I believe weather you beleive in an HP/God, is also your choice... My HP is God, but I also have Spiritaul HP's that look up to just as much, This Program, My Support System, My Relatives in Heaven... All My Choices...
This Program is about YOU... Your Recovery from the Alcoholics in YOUR Life... I love F2F meetings... "Face 2 Face", it gets me face to face with people that understand the disease, "Some better" then I, and I can learn so much from them... I love the litature available for Al-anon... I just flat out Love Al-Anon... Growing up with an Alcoholic I never had a Support System for our lives were complete Choas on a regular basis... But Al-anon, has been helping be along with great venjence...
Keep Coming Back... It works if you work it... Take what you like and leave the Rest... Love & Hugs Jozie
Welcome to MIP & al-anon. The others have expalined well that this is a program based on our understanding & what works for us (by trial & error), this includes our belief in a HP. I have a lot of meta physical understanding & would offer to you, that you can come up with any term - some ppl think of a HP like a shadow or guardian angel/conscience. I've heard of some ppl saying their HP is a can of soup. I often think the Universe could work.
It's all about you & what works for you, take what you like & leave the rest.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
When I arrived here many yrs ago , I believed in Nothing and said so at every oportunity Some of the groups i attended chose to close with the Lords Prayer , I stepped out of the circle for 3 yrs , today I can hold hands and simply not say the prayer . I removed all the God words from the steps but only to myself never to disrespect the group . * never out loud in a meeting * It says in our literature that we are welcome here of any faith or of none. for the most part they just let me be , never told me I had to believe and I have always appreciated the freedom that Al-Anon allows in that regard . Eventually like most there came a time in my life when there was nothing left for me to do , I had done it all husb was drinking himself to death , and rejected any kind of help , in desperation I turned to a God I didnt not understand and said OK he's all yours do what u have to do . I have never taken him back . Today i do have a God in my life that i still do not understand , but certainly seems to understand me . Of course your welcome here . please find a f2f group u are going to need support . Because I didn't believe I could not practice Let go and let God as every one suggested so I had to Just let go. I have heard that God can be simply taken as GOOD ORDERLY DIRECTION which for me is the Al-Anon program . Louise
Thank you so very much for the warm welcome and for the words of encouragement.
Already, I feel a lot less apprehensive about Al-Anon.
I don't harbor any negative feelings about the general belief in a God or Higher Power... I just don't share in it; I do respect whatever a person's faith rests in. I'm just very relieved to hear and be assured that it won't be something that hinders my utilization of the 12 steps, or my participation inside the program.
Thank you so much for the replies, I really do appreciate it.
You got some fabulous replies to your post about Al-Anon and the concept of a Higher Power. The only thing I would add, is that the most important idea for me was to come to believe that I am not the Higher Power. That there was something greater than me and my knowledge. Whether that is God or as the others have said, the program doesn't really matter in the beginning.
What is important is that I no longer felt the need to control the world and all the people in my life...because I was not THEIR higher power. As much as I seemed to think I was at times.
Yes... this is helpful. I'm not the Higher Power -- ahahah, it does sound funny to say, but I totally get what you mean!! I'm *not* capable of *saving* anyone... not my sisters, and certainly not my mother.
Some of the groups i attended chose to close with the Lords Prayer , I stepped out of the circle for 3 yrs , today I can hold hands and simply not say the prayer . I removed all the God words from the steps but only to myself never to disrespect the group . * never out loud in a meeting *
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