The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For me, lately, its been another lesson that I am powerless over many things, i have accepted that.....I believe that "someone" bigger than me CAN restore me so I am doing step THREE
My will was not working...Things were getting crazy...emotions all over the place and it just was not working....So I STOPPED and realized what I was doing.....I know there is someone FAR stronger than I and more capable, omnipotent , so I am LETTING GO--------TURNING this OVER!!!!
When I decided that last night, I came up with this great "phone idea".....I checked my windows in the house and realized that I have time to "piddle" with this until I find company who is reasonable......
I am Surrendering it ALL over to my HP and taking care of the things I can care for and that is ME and my attitude and my emotions and taking back my power, but giving it over to a Higher power...
I would stay I am working on step 1 and 3. I am powerless over alcohol and those that are A"s. My life is definitely unmanageable right now. For the longest time I thought just knowing I was powerless was good enough, but lately I have been thinking about it and I think I need to work on this more and actually say to myself I am powerless over this and that so I do not forget. At times I do forget and need to remember to remind myself.
Because of that I am also working on Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. I try one day at a time to turn my life over to God; the god that I chose. I have not been able to manage my life in the past very well and need to turn over and let go so that I can find serenity more often!
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"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." Will Rogers
God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference.
I feel most definitely I am striving for the courage to change the things in me that need changing and know I am gaining the wisdom to know the difference, however I have to keep on working on it.
My step...
Right now I feel I am endeavouring to work my twelfth step...by reaching out to others with encouragement to continue the journey no matter where you are today...the struggle, the effort, the continued striving REALLY IS WORTH the EFFORT and reaps the rewards of working the programme...I know this from experience...NEVER GIVE UP...you can do it with the power of your higher power (God in my understanding) truly you can.
Thank you Rosie, ONE STEP at a time, and sometimes I have to back track in order to get myself back ON TRACK, but today I feel confident and it is a wonderful thing to realise that I do and this is real progress for me to admit this right now.
Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Number two: Advertise on CL for a handyman or lady. Get references, from people who are close so you can go check.
"I" can put windows in and calk. lol What I meant by that was there are handy people who will do it for less. Especially now hon with the building market going insane. Try Remodel co. instead of building contractors too.
Also ask them if they know of someone,retired etc. who could do it for less. Companies don't like to do these little jobs, they need the bigger ones to make money. It is not worth it so they charge you lots.
Wish I was by you. I will admit I did put one of my windows in back wards!! haha but actually I liked it that way, had a ledge outside to put a flower box on.
NONE of them leak either.
Calking is ez. Get a calk gun. Get Vulcon or Big Stretch. I don't know if I spelled it right. My son told me vulcan I remembered by Star Treks Mr.Spock. and the big stretch I remembered by a doll my son had of the HULK. It was green and stretched!
Yep and this is how I was on the honor roll at college!! giggle. true!!
Anyway get something to practice on, piece of cardboard. GEt the nice amount line you want to have. When you calk take your time. Then ya use a wet finger, and push it in carefully so it is sorta flat.
Let it dry. Then ya take a razor and scrape off the messes.Well I makem!
I don't know your whole situation, but I tell ya, once I started fixing my washer and dryer, putting up fences, fixing my kids and my jeeps, training dogs, horses, doing sheet rock, insulation, plumbing, building, on and on. It gave me soo much happiness.
I even do small surgeries on everything. I have lidocaine etc.
Anyhoo my dear I never saw the original post of the stalking. That is a real drag as it is IN your home! Makes one not feel safe.
NOT a good feeling! Plus how do we know it is foreign really?
As far as your daughter I am going to respond in another post.
YOU are refreshing Rosie, you let it all out. I am sooo glad as it helps others to open up too!
Soooo glad you found us. love,debilyn
-- Edited by debilyn on Wednesday 3rd of June 2009 06:01:08 PM
I am very handy too..sheetrock, caulking, plumbing, but these windows are a biatch....big and if I bust one of the pains trying to scrape off this old, stuck, peeling caulking, I am screwed...
and yea, a friend of my neighbor is coming out sat...I don't really want to just caulk and seal, but i cannot afford to change em out....bedroom i want new...this one sucks...
yea, I can do a lot too, however, these biggies in the front, omg, 1 slip and I am lookin at big bucks to fix....They are these big ornate windows...odd size...so its worth it to me to find a local small guy/handyman someone I KNOW to do it...I get referrals from neighbors...My neighbor who is real handy said he had to get help with his windows which are identical to mine coz the houses are brick adn they are hell to work with ...He had to get a guy who knew windows to help him...
yea, you and i think alike...I tune up cars, do lots of stuff myself....I have to....being poor has caused me to learn how to be my own barber, even....I do my own vet stuff on my dogs if it is routine and minor.....Have had dogs all my life and just learned..asking ???s to the professionals.....
thanks for the tips...I am already checking out a few handymen...this guy coming sat. , his partner is pals w/my neighbors and friends....
I am working all of the steps to the very best of my ability today. "We practiced these principalS, (plural), in ALL (not some or 99%) of our affairs.
My sponsor once asked, "what step do you think you need to work related to that issued?" I thought for moment and he injected..."ALL of them, with every issue that arises. Thats why it says...(above).
Hmmm....
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" And what did we gain? A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."
John said, "I am working all of the steps to the very best of my ability today. "We practiced these principalS, (plural), in ALL (not some or 99%) of our affairs." I think this is a very valid point. I am redoing my 4th step, or does that make it my 10th?(Continued to take personal inventory...) lol, anyway, I feel like that thanks to working the first three steps daily I am ready to take another searching and fearless look at my inventory. I am at a different place than when I first came into the program some 17 years ago and took my first inventory. I feel like its time to "answer some questions about some of my personal habits, actions, and reactions. My goal is to learn as much as I can about myself, both the good and the not-so-good." (taken from 'The Purpose of Step Four' in BluePrints for Progress opening)
I've worked through Honesty and found that I'm honest most of the time, but not as honest as I'd like to be.
I've worked through Self-Worth and found that my spiritual needs are important to me, yet I have a poor opinion of myself and I need to work on that.
I've worked through the section on Fear and find that I'm 'fear based'. I am fearful of my husband. I am afraid of losing my mom (she's 86). I'm afraid of not being a good enough mom, myself. I'm afraid of not being a 'good enough' child of God. I'm afraid of not being able to support myself.
As you can see I have a lot of issues in this corner.
I've worked through the sections on Anger, Resentment, Justification, Control, Attitudes and am currently working on Communication. I have a lot more work to do. I have found out a lot about myself so far and am sure that by working with my sponsor on this I will continue to learn more about myself and things that I can change to make this life the best one that it can be.
