The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It is said, in order to keep family and friends from interfering with their drinking, A's create chaos by provoking arugements using any topic just to get us to react or argue or to defend ourselves. Which results in nobody paying attention to the Alcoholism.
My exAH would ALWAYS pick a fight w/me over something ridiculous. Then when we would get into an arguement, he would say he doesn't need this crap and leave. He would go on a binge. He used the arguements as an excuse to drink and use. It usually happened the worst around special occassions and holidays.
That's about the size of it. A healthy alcholic can admit that they create drama to create pain and suffering to their family, while avoiding any sort of accountability for themselves. That's a very big thing to look at.
My exAH would ALWAYS pick a fight w/me over something ridiculous. Then when we would get into an arguement, he would say he doesn't need this crap and leave. He would go on a binge. He used the arguements as an excuse to drink and use. It usually happened the worst around special occassions and holidays.
My mother was real good at doing this....I got "on to her" and just ignored it...sometimes It worked...Most times it did not..if she wanted to drink?? She drank
Any time I would mention his drinking, the bar or anything that related..even if it was weeks/months apart, my hubby turned it back on me with "Is that all you can ever talk about?"
LOL! I'm an admitted smart a** by nature, so pre-alanon my response would be.. "OK then, fine...How's the weather? A little FOGGY is it??? !!!!"
Sheesh! I'm glad that's over!!
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Even in non-A's, so many people create what I call "white noise" rather than getting to the heart of issues so that we don't have to deal with the real heart of the matter which is usually hurt and pain.
Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
