The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Here I Go... Turn the Page... "One of my Afathers favorite songs was Turn the Page.." Something I can't seem to do... "Turn the Page"...
Well what a morning, my head as been so clogged here lately with the finishing of...That I can't seem to get my thoughts straight. I don't know if it is lack of SunShine or what? I have abolutely NO energy, I went to bed last night at about 8pm, which I think happens Once in a decade...And honestly if I wouldn't have to be in this office now, and didn't have to take my son to the denist, I think I would just go the Hell back to bed now...
It is like I fight myself to get out of bed, hitting the snooze at least twice...Then when I can't get things done on time, It just is a day killer... My house looks like a bomb went off for cleaning my house went on hold months ago, when i started cleaning Dad's... I just need a pick-me-up or lift or something...
This is going to be a busy weeek for me, I don't for see a day off my "Schedule" Till somewere around Sunday, and frackly I am just whooped...
My Asister calls yesterday, trying to stir up MORE Drama, to which I kindly shut her off, and just hung on the line till she was finished with her rant... Then I said... "Ok Then, Well You have a Nice Day, I have to get back to work!" and hung up... I didn't have the energy to even respond to any of it... Why should she Gripe now, I did it all... What does she care...
Then Yesterday, My Abrother came to pick up a set of keys, I found of his, and I walk out side to greet him (For I don't trust him in my home), I give him his keys, and he ask if there is anything I need from him, I just shook my head, and said... Nope! He then gives me my Hug Good bye, but while hugging me (He can't look me in the eye!) Says "I'm Sorry for Not Doing My Part, I love you So much!" to which of course leaves me fighting tears, and which I respond "I'm Sorry You didn't do your part either, and I love you too!" And he left...
I did do dinner with an old childhood friend last night, and I needed it, I needed her!!! Which helped in that moment, but as soon as the dinner was over and I knew I was coming home... I also knew I was going to bed... I don't like feeling this way, I just want to crawl in a hole and sleep for about a week, without interuption... I do know it will never happen... but I need something... Even tho the hard stuff is Over, minus picking out the stone... I still feel like there is more to do, I am trying not to project or anything I just feel like even tho that is over , I am still carring a big weight on my shoulders and I can't shake what it is...
ESH would be so delightful at this point... Thanks for Reading :)
I agree w/robin, little jozie...its time to give yourself a BIG hug and take care of you...maybe a "soaky" in the tub, or a nice relaxation with some good music...
Hi Jozie.....no wonder you're tired. Look at what you've been through, you must have been running on pure adrenalin.....now you are letting go and this is when the exhaustive tiredness creeps in....
Your body is saying sleep, listen to it.... sleep if you can...(I know it's not easy....what with life getting in the way) but if jammies are required by 8pm then snuggle on in.
Aloha Jozie...brings back memories and solutions...one being after I've dealt with it, (thoughts, feelings, actions) let it drop behind me and don't continue to keep pulling it behind me. When I let it go I'm not adding I'm subtracting. After you wake up don't pick up any weight (thoughts, feelings, actions).
