The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Have been to extra meetings this week to try to let go of my fear and anxiety. Not doing so well. My AS has been in recovery for almost 6 months. Has been living in 3/4 house and working fulltime. Memorial Day weekends have not been a good experieince for the past 4 years, usually something "big" happens (i.e law involvement". Trying not to set expectations good or bad for this weekend. Don't want to focus on "just gotta make it thru the weekend" nor do I think "He's cured".
He has coming coming home on Sat nights to be with us then goes back to his 3/4house. Is out this weekend, but not with us. I know that eventually he has to live life out in the world and make his own decisions.
Have tried not to communicate my anxiety to him but failed miserably. This is his 21st birthday and he is on probation. I just "know" something bad is going to happen.
He's come so far in his recovery. I have come far in my recovery. But I fear I am relasping big time. It was obviously easier to work my program when I knew his living conditions were safe and controlled. Things were so very very bad last spring summer fall and winter. Thought for sure he hit bottom but let's face it's not like you get a notice confirming "HE HIT ROCK BOTTOM".
Have planned other familiy activites, other stuff just for myself, am reading my literature, reaching out for Alanon support, meditating and praying. just had to get this all out. Thanks for listening, keep me in your prayers.
-- Edited by luvinmom on Saturday 23rd of May 2009 06:21:40 PM
If your going to project try something positive instead , it could be the best long weekend ever . Like u said he has to be on his own eventually , give him a big hug and tell him how proud u are of him and tell him your just busy being a mom .( worrying is what we do ) He's sober enjoy!!!!
Aloha Mom...Good feedback from Abby. It takes practice, practice, practice. I have never met so many unskilled fortune tellers including myself than in the program of Al-Anon. I found out that I did fear better than I did faith until I found the courage to change that and the support to help me get there. I use to also "What if" alot until my former sponsor taught me about balance. He taught me that if I was going to "What if" I must also learn to "What if not" in order to stay balanced. It worked and I still think he was a genius!! I will always be grateful.
Keep up the practice...It works if you work it. Practice the opposite of fear...it's faith.
It helps me to visualize handing my son (and daughter) over to HP, again and again and again. I get caught up in my judgement of things as good or bad. But how do we ever really know? Trusting that HP has a plan takes some practice. The 12 steps keep me in line every day. Powerlessness is the beginning, and the end. Accepting that I don't have any power always begs the question, then who does?
I discipline myself to get still and connect with HP in meditation every single day, twice a day. This practice has served me well, greatly diminishing my anxiety.
You've been doing great with using the tools! Keep grabbing your HP's hand, and practicing steps one, 2 and 3. HP knows what is best, trust this.
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Your topic is very pertinent to me today....thank you for posting.
I too have an A son in recovery (8 weeks) and the last few days my anxiety levels have been high and my mood very low...
I have been lapsing into negative thinking, re-living the past and projecting about future outcomes....
I like very much what Jerry said '' if I was going to "What if" I must also learn to "What if not" in order to stay balanced'' this I will def work hard on!!
Today I have practiced just staying in the moment.... I spent some of the day photographing the wild flowers in my field, enjoying their beauty and the quiet around me.
I'm thankful that I was able to sit down tonight and have a nice dinner with my husb and Ason sober.
I'm happy that your son has 6 months sober and has a job and a place to stay...all brilliant positive things which gives him self control and self respect.
