The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Haven't heard from my ex-bfA (we were seeing each other again) for 5 days since I explained he could not come over because my kids (13/15) were home. I felt if I was going to see him...it should involve my kids. He threw a fit and went back to the enabling woman he's been seeing since we split 2 years ago. Prime example of his disease...doesn't get what he wants so he stomps off.
I told him not to call me until he wants to change his life. Well...he hasn't called yet! hahahaaha. Usually he calls and I cave. But sometimes I call....and I haven't. And I'm not. Either way I win a better life for myself. I just have to remember it was a boundary and not a way to control.
I am confident I did the right thing and what happens with him now is not in my control BUT it's buggin the heck out of me. You'd think after 8 years of this I'd adjust...but I think this is the first time in 8 years I actually let go...and it feels a little frightening.
So I worked out everyday this week...Ate really well...laughed with my kids...and tonight I'm meeting friends to listen to music at a nice restaurant with a lovely outside patio.
Life is good. I'm closer to serenity as long as I re-focus on me. Posting this really helped me realize this.
So I worked out everyday this week...Ate really well...laughed with my kids...and tonight I'm meeting friends to listen to music at a nice restaurant with a lovely outside patio.
Life is good. I'm closer to serenity as long as I re-focus on me. Posting this really helped me realize this.
Thanks for being here.
now THIS is good taking care of YOU...Life CAN be good, but we have to do our part, reach out to HP to HELP it be good.....We gotta do OUR part....turn over the rest....GREAT job!!!
Amen! this crazy stuff we deal with, we totally forget to take care of ourselves. And then we're not healthy, yadda, yadda... So good for you for spending time with friends and seeing the happy part of life. I am totally struggling with staying in today and not reaching out to my AH for the attention I want, but he cannot give me and I really don't need. So I too am trying to focus on myself, just for today. It's good to hear other people going through the same stuff!
Yes AH went off to an "easier enabler" with less bounaries. Healthy people have boundaries & that's what I kept telling myself in the scary beginning. I would also remind myself that when I felt "scared" it was because something was happening that was simply "new" for me. I began to experience the excitement in the new, slightly more than the fear ~ at least once I identify it, I can turn it to excitement & know the fear is only there to let me know this is unknown territory, as I am doing something by myself for one of the first times. Be happy, be excited, feel good about all your hard work ~ those feelings are contagious, woo hoo! Get out with those friends & smile!
__________________
Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
