The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
ADaughter is getting an apartment. She and hubby have reached an agreement that he will pay for the apartment for 1 year. Sound too good to be true??? Well, it is. What he is doing is giving her $1,000 a month to live on. This has to cover the apartment rent, utilities, groceries and food and gas money. Well, I do not know what world he lives in, but this will not cover it.
She does not have a lawyer. She says she cannot afford one. Well, he has his attorney and I tell her that he should pay for her's too. But, oh no, she loves him too much for that. Give me a break!!!!
I am trying to stay out of it and keep my mouth shut. If I had the money, I would pay for her attorney and this guy would be lucky to keep the shirt on his back.
I know that there is nothing I can do. I have to stay out of it. But, where is her head???? This man is a pilot for God's sake. And they have gas well on their property(very profitful). OOOOOOOhhh so angry at them for getting in this mess. And the cause of it all is alchol. He is a drunk, but will not own up to it.
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Clara
------------------------------------ What don't kill you, makes you stronger!!!
Remember to Let go and let God. I know its hard. I would never want to see my daughter hurt. I'm sorry for what you're going through, but leave it in HP's hand and things will get better.
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Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
I think she has to learn from her own mistakes and she wont do that if she isn't making her own mistakes. It's hard, but we can't worry about anyone other than ourselves.
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"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." Will Rogers
Take a pillow and metaphorically ring his neck! Sometimes you just get the physical side of it out.
She's an adult when she married, and she's still an adult now. As hard as it is turn this mess over to HP and let it go. There's no sense in getting yourself worked up over it. You have no control over this. It's their life. Let them live it. Concentrate on you and your family. Take all that frustration you feel and give Bonnie Lou an extra dose of itchies and scratchies. You'll feel better and so will she. Love and blessings to you and your family, and of course Bonnie Lou.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Yep, I agree....We learn from our mistakes...OK!! What brought us here??? the pain of our mistakes and unhealthy thinking...If someone had "enabled--held us up" we may never have come here and faced ourselves...
I agree w/others......LET GO....LET GOD...She has to write her own life song.....
Unfortunatley your daughters own guilt is whats keeping her from standing up for herself , hopfully someone will be able to talk her into getting what she has a right to as his wife and partner . If she has no self worth or self esteem it's gonna take time . hang in there Louise
Unfortunatley your daughters own guilt is whats keeping her from standing up for herself , hopfully someone will be able to talk her into getting what she has a right to as his wife and partner . If she has no self worth or self esteem it's gonna take time . hang in there Louise
You are so right abbyal--she has no self esteem. Therefore, she feels she is not worthy to anything from him. I cannot help her at all with this. I might as well go out in the drive way and have a conversation with my car!!! You hit the nail on the head---no self esteem.
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Clara
------------------------------------ What don't kill you, makes you stronger!!!
I do believe if she got a lawyer and there is legal aid there could be an order for him to pay for hers. Obviously she is in a mess. You do not have to intervene. Letting someone fail is very hard but somtimes it is very very necessary.
