The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In the past few weeks, I have felt quite sad without expressing it really, this board has helped an awful lot and I have felt the benefit of all the posts here. Without it I feel I would have gone into a full scale depression, it has helped me put things in perspective. There are many things at the moment that I do not want to change but am probably suffering because of, I do need the courage but just don't have it at the moment but neither am I delivering excuses. I'm sad because like all of you I did love the A's in my life but at the moment I just don't have that capacity, I'm kind of in limbo land, where I really have nothing and where before I would have embraced work, academia anything really I realise it and it makes me feel so inadequate, I am used to being mrs fix it, ah well you should do this, ah well perhaps its this, but I do feel privileged to be able to participate on this board and can identify so not all bad.
I too have been in a struggle this week with myself, and this board and my al-anon family has really been my Pulling force to "take care of Me".... I dont know what brings you all your pain, but I can tell you that "this too will pass" ... I was not a believer in the sloagans for a while, but now I live by them and remind myself as often as needed when I have to put one to use "How Important is it" is another one I like. There are so many things that can bring us down in everyday life, and being involved with "A's" for alot of us, is just another mountain to climb...
I would advise you "Take Care Of You" and do what you have to, to see that thru... "Easy Does It" till you feel comfortable to go full swing... I am glad you come here and share and grow with the rest of us, for this is were it is at :)
Love & Prayers to you and a better feeling tomorrow, just walk thru it, and keep on, Keep'n On :) You'll Get there, One Moment A At Time :)
My heart goes out to you right now. It hurts so much to be where you are right now. I am happy that you are here with us. I don't know where I would be if I wouldn't have found this place. You will figure things out a little at a time. Love yourself and be good to yourself. Think of one thing that makes you feel all warm and cozy and work it into your daily routine. Hang in there, I'll be praying for you.
Aloha LM... It's the pits being in the pits. Still it happens from time to time and then with continued practice...less time after time. When I was in the pits or get there still I don't loose what I have learned here and one of the things that is sooo valuable to remember is that the pits is a choice. I can change it or how I look at it at anytime without any permission. Its kinda like an early default condition if I'm not feeling anything I feel down. I remember that "feeling down" was most easy for me rather than feeling up or positive. So maybe this is a "Test" for you. "Only a test". Gratitude list maybe? Talking to the flowers and trees maybe? How about a large piece of Chocolate cream cheese pie? Capital C...put it just behind our 3cees and it becomes the 4th. LOL
I do know that "all worn out" empty exhausted feeling- like I just don't have anything left in me. The feeling of a fallow field that is just sitting there when it seems all around it is growing, etc. But here is what I think- we all have our "seasons" in our life and sometimes, we just gotta stop and not do much and sit and hang out. Its like winter- dormancy is good because it means that all kinds of stuff is going on under the surface and a growth spurt will be coming down the pike. Its just like the economy- it can't all be up, up, up- there are times of corrections and loss. And there are times of just a whole lot o' nothin'! In these times I just take off my gloves, throw 'em down and take a nap or something. Give up. Rest. 'Cause I bet within 3 months you are going to be going gangbusters in some way so rest while you can and be thankful- hide out. Nap. withdraw from your crowd and keep your own counsel. Meditate. Read. Sleep- go with it instead of fighting it. Work it through and you will come out the other side. Thats been my ESH in times like this. hugs, J.
I do know that "all worn out" empty exhausted feeling- like I just don't have anything left in me. The feeling of a fallow field that is just sitting there when it seems all around it is growing, etc. But here is what I think- we all have our "seasons" in our life and sometimes, we just gotta stop and not do much and sit and hang out. I just take off my gloves, throw 'em down and take a nap or something. Give up. Rest. l. Meditate. Read. Sleep- go with it instead of fighting it. Work it through and you will come out the other side. Thats been my ESH in times like this. hugs, J.
Boy I sure can relate to these comments...I am in a kinda "bad patch" re: my boss...Gonna "toss it off me" and take care of me..Enjoy just BEING.....Cut him off....Work around him....Do a good job...Dont take it "home" with me....just REST in my HP......Today, its Relax..Enjoy my new computer....Later, walk the dogs.....and yea, I will work the steps and meditate.....maybe even take a nice nap.......stop "fighting the karma" and just go with it...Take care of me....I like these ideas...I totally, (when i am not slipping, lol) do the same things.....thanks for this reminder for me to do to take care of ME!!!!
I can agree tremendously. I have found I need to take a wide wide berth around the A's. I have had to fill my time up with looking for work (which is very difficult). I have also had to fill time up with my dogs and my health. I also know I have to really work hard on detachment, overinvolvement is my middle name.
I remember being in that same sad place... I was first coming to terms with how powerless I was & I was still wishing others would change.
Thing is we get to keep fixing ~ only now we work with someone that is happy & eager to take our suggestions & funs with the changes ~ us! All that time I spent "helping" others, when most times they wouldnt even take my great sage advice (hehe) I began applying changes to me, when I felt like making some. When I was depressed, I didnt want to help myself, I had to force myself. I started by eating better, which effected my mind right away & that gave me incentive to make more changes for the good of me.
I know you feel powerless but you have a lot of power when it concerns you & you will be so proud of your own hard work & you are worth it! It is so much more rewarding then spinning your wheels with others.
I agree with jerry - I got to where I decided I would be grateful one day & I kept focusing on those things that I genuinely was grateful for. The more I look for positivity, the more I experience it. Same with negativity. What we focus on grows. Focus on you & whatever you can be grateful for & really enjoy that. When you can, you will feel so much better.
I'm glad you posted, kcb. This board helps me so much too, dont know where I'd be without this forum. Thanks.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Maire---Very good post. I am sorry you are going through all of this. I too suffer from depression. I have said, it is like carrying a heavy black curtain on your shoulders.
This board has been very helpful for me. I always gets tons of love and support. I quit taking my anti depression meds several weeks. I was trying to see if I can get by without them. I figured I would have crashed by now, but I stil have my head outside of that black curtain. And I have to give credit where it is due-----this board.
Keep your chin up!!!
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Clara
------------------------------------ What don't kill you, makes you stronger!!!
(((((hugs)))))
