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I work for the 2 nice sons and their father who is a nasty old fart....He does not like me and today it came out in a veangance
I am drinking my shake (if worker is there more than 4 hours they get 15 min break...FED. law)....He comes up to me and wants to know why I am "not busy"...I said I was busy, drinking my shake, did he need any help??? He said "No, I just want to know what you are doing and what are you doing next".......
I wanted to say FIRST my shake and SECOND the bathroom, but instead I said "I am entitled to a 15 min. break as I am here for 5 hours on my days...If you need something I will be happy to help, otherwise, I am drinking my shake......He got snotty and said "well I KNOW about the 15 min. break..." I said "I figured you did and , really, I don't even take THAT"
THEN the big thing!!! I told him, (he asks me about gen. ledger work I am doing) and I told him NICELY that my predessor did some mistakes and they needed to be cleaned up, but essentially she didn't do a bad job at all.......He fires back "Well!!! I have seen YOUR mistakes...So don't go after her"....
I then replied "FIRST I am not 'going after her', I respect her work and SECOND if I have made mistakes in the checkbook as YOU say, PLEASE show me"......I got the checkbook and told him "I want to see these 'mistakes' I am being accused of so I can NOT repeat the same thing"......
He wouldn't say any more.....He just grunted and got away from me......I KNOW I did not do anything wrong as the younger son, who is in the checkbook all the time would have told me....
WHAT an old FART!!!! I am not taking this crap......
I went into the restroom and flushed the toilet 2 times because I had "cooled" my face and flushed down the paper towel and I come out and he wants to know "is the john alright?? Why were you flushing it so much???"
I told him "the restroom is fine...I just needed to flush a paper towel down after I washed my face"
Its like , He wants to know when I belch, so I tell him today that I am paying on the bank loan this Fri as Mon is a holiday and he says "Did you tell John??" I confirmed that I had and he tells me I don't have to be so redundent....So I said......"You always want to know each thing that I do...show you everything I want to do, So which is it???? I am either not showing you enough, or now, I am being redundent....Would you please make a decision as to WHICH you want for I am confused , as last Friday, you got angry because I asked John or James about something and did not tell you....now I am telling you.....I would like to know WHICH procedure you want"
Really, I cannot "break wind" w/o having to get prior approval from this guy....I have to get approval when the "date due" is CLEAR on the bill.....Approval to do even the most basic of things......THEN today he tells me I am "redundent"
I told the secretary that "he cannot fault my work, so hes gonna bully me personality wise, and that is NOT gonna work....I'll get enough and tell him to shove that place where the sun don't shine".......
Anyway, that was my nice day......I am home now and am gonna run with my dogs and burn this adrenalin
I saw my predecessors note with unemployment and he bullied her too...I saw where he got in her face so bad about "ok, what work are you doing??? how can I get more work out of you???" She was afraid for her job, so to keep him off her, she began cleaning out the bathroom just to "look busy"......She finally walked out for the THIRD time.....recession was so bad, she tried to come back, but they said "no"......THAT was a big red flag for me to see that AFTER I was there for a few weeks.....
Oh well...I am on SS and CAN "float" if I need to give notice...
Thanks, What do you guys think of this?????
-- Edited by rosielightshines on Tuesday 19th of May 2009 05:56:11 PM
-- Edited by rosielightshines on Tuesday 19th of May 2009 06:53:45 PM
-- Edited by rosielightshines on Tuesday 19th of May 2009 07:04:58 PM
-- Edited by rosielightshines on Tuesday 19th of May 2009 07:05:29 PM
-- Edited by rosielightshines on Tuesday 19th of May 2009 07:19:58 PM
in my opinion you've done well with this guy, try to remember he's the one with the problem and you don't want to catch it, so detach, its kind of a test in my opinion, you don't deserve this test but life and fair are two four letter words and thats all they have in common, I admire your control and am proud of you so stay cool,
Good For You! You did not hide, you did not run, you hung in there, and gave what you got! I am married to my "Boss", but believe me, there are days that I WISH he would fire me, for living with him, and working with him, sometimes can be more then I can handle...
I think you did well, and should sit down with your favorite "Cup of Joe" and be proud for standing up for yourself, and not allowing him to run you over like a freight train...
Good for you for going home and "Running" it out... That is good theropy, and I hope that it help you see that you are "Right were You are Ment to be"... One Day At A Time...
Proud of ya Girl... Keep up the good work, and who knows... Maybe tomorrow the O'l Kute will find a little more respect, if not... Let Go & Let God! :)
Thank God I only am there Tues. and Fri....I would be gone , otherwise...Thanks for hte ESH , you guys.....I just hate this...ANOTHER bullier.....And ya know??? I think, if it keeps up, I am gonna talk with the sons and just tell them that if it does not stop, I am gonna give notice.....
It is not worth my serenity...tonight I am nurturing and taking care of me...Turning this over....See what HP has for me.....
I don't know how hard jobs are where you are from however, if it were possible I think for me I would get out of there......If financially possible of course.
My husband use to say I work to live not live to work.....Sounds like he is making your life straight hell....
Maybe try praying about it....and the answer will come....best of Luck.
Its hard...But ya know???My serenity and emotional health are very important....I am getting my resume out and HOPEFULLY I will find something b4 I have to leave...
I think this guy is gonna "keep after me" b/c I am not cowarding down but standing up and maybe he sees that as a stimulent...I may talk with his sons about it....Praying to HP....Letting go and lets see where HP leads me, but yea, I may have to leave.....
It's important to be happy where you work. I don't think that saying if things don't change I will quit will work. It's happened with the previous employee. This guy isn't going to change. Sometimes we have to change in order to grow. It sounds like this isn't a place where you can grow. Good Luck!
I think some people are just crap sniffers, out looking for all the bad stuff, and none of the good. I think it's a great idea to pray for him too.
Try to remember who the "Bigger Boss" is, the one with all the power. Al-anon has given me wonderful tools for me to use at work. The rest is up to HP.
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Even his mechanic said hes a "problem" with him at times and Mike has had to tell this jerk to "buggar off" at times....So yea, this guy has a bad pattern..
I may talk with the sons in private and tell them I "hate to leave, but your dad is a problem"....Gonna let HP guide me on this one....
I don't want my will conflicting with HP's will, and I don't believe HP will want me to be MORE abused then already in my life......AND , lift him in prayer, turn him over, let HP take care of him, and I will get resumes out....And do what I can do take care of me....Resumes.....Standing up for me....If I have to "walk" than so be it.......I am done with abuse in my life.......I have had enough of it....
Rosie--your post brings back horrible memories of my working days. I worked for a very large company in Dallas and I know you would be familiar with them if I mentioned their name.
I worked there for 32 years before retiring. The first 20 years were great, then as we know, the business environment has changed over the years. And with "older" employees, it is like they are trying to push us out the door.
I wish I could have been as strong as you are. My boss would do something to me that was totally uncalled for and I would retreat to the ladies room and bawl my eyes out.
Your boss seems to be walking a line of harrassment.
They had a "buy out" and I begged them to buy me out. The first buy out did not include me. The second one, they got me. I must have been the happiest person ever to loose my job. That was in 2005 and I have not once been back to the office to visit or anything. Man, was I glad to get out of there.
Hang in there.
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Clara
------------------------------------ What don't kill you, makes you stronger!!!
I am going to lift him and his problems over to God and DUMP it there....I am taking back my power by taking care of me...Doing stuff that is fun/pleasing for me and let this guy self destruct...
I have spoken to his sons "a bit" and they just kinda ignore his BS....I think, IF it escelates, I will talk with his sons and say "hey, I need your help, I would like to stay, but I don't do abuse".....I don't think they want me leaving...
I better be prepared to back it up , though, so resumes are goin out..my resume is back on craigslist and in the meantime, I am cuttin him off...NO contact except when unavoidable....and definitely NO letting him upset me....I will stand up for me....I will keep focus on me and if he wants to?? he can let me go...HP will take care of me as long as I am surrendering to HP....I am totally powerless over this most undesireable man....So i am working the first 3 steps on it....I am better today, because I know I can "walk" IF I GOT TO...It won't be easy, but SS will carry me on the very basics...So there is that cushion.......ODAT....Today and tomorrow, I am off...Gonna think about "what can I do to please ME today"....Screw that place...When I go home, I LEAVE IT THERE!!!! Thank God I am only there 2 x per week...>I would have walked by now...
Clara, I can relate...I had another job that was sooo bad, I couldn't sue them through eeoc b/c of lack of employees (minimum is 20) and so I had to fight them for my unemployment, but left a hell of a bad stain on their record...Blatent abuse and now they have that "stain" on their records..if they mess up again, they could be in real trouble because Tex. workforce keeps that stuff on file...
So yea, been there..and am NOT doing it again....My mental health is more important......I am going to REST and TRUST in HP and let this crap GO!!!!!!
Thanks you guys for your ESH.....I always believed in "what goes around comes around" Someone , one day, will step on him and hurt HIS feelings.....
This guy sounds like a control freak that isnt used to being confronted or stood up to. Good for you for standing up to him, remember to keep it "professional, not personal" he probably doenst have any social skills.
You KNOW he's trying to intimidate you, so dont fall for it.
My b/f & I were tralking about how his dad wont deal with emotional matters. When he brings anything up, he gets very defensive. I suggested he is defensive b/c he is hurt & probably no one validated his feelings. I said, next time, say, I know you're hurt dad & say nothing else. He thinks that might work/help. (not sure why I felt compelled to share that)
I hate to be accused of making mistakes when I know I havent made any. Surely since you showed him the book & he couldnt offer any proof, he was grasping at straws.
I was married to a bully. They seem to get off on belittling everyone else, so they can feel superior. Know his game & dont fall for it ~ he's just trying to disrupt your serenity.
I think if I were on my "break" I'd say, "I am on my break, I'll talk to you when it is over." ugh boundaries Some ppl have NO CLUE. *smiles*
detach, detach & detach some more. Here's my boundary, I detach from your hurtful language. Take care of YOU.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
