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Back when my husband's drinking got out of control, his brother was here to help out. One of the things I asked him to do was to take my husband's gun out of the house. I didnt' feel comfortable having it in the house at all (let alone when his drinking was out of control). To be honest, we were never gun people until my husband decided to buy one out of the blue because he was worried that Obama would put gun laws into affect and it would be harder for the general public to get one - I personally did not want it, but was overruled.
Anyway, my husband is going to spend the night with his brother and his brother's friends tonight. On his way out the door he mentioned that they might go to the shooting range tomorrow morning. I'm wondering if I should call his brother and tell him not to give my husband his gun back. Now that he's drinking again, I'd rather not have it in the house. My husband IS NOT a violent drunk, but you never know how a person can change as their disease progresses.
I have guns because 1....I am responsible and can handle one......2...I don't have any Alkies here and 3....I live alone and if someone gets by my dogs, and trys to break in, I am going to protect myself....
A gun is a tool...Its the person behind it that makes it good or bad...For me?? It is for protection...I have 3....1 pistol and 2 shotguns....Tools for protection, and I pray to God I never have to use them
When I was with my 1st AH we were living with his folks who were gone a lot....His dad had a shotgun.....I hid it really well because had my AH and I fought, I did not want him having access to a gun......
For a short while my step son's hunting rifle was here. Not anymore, thank HP. Cell phones, remote controls and baseball bats have done enough damage to our home. It was a huge relief when step son came get his gun. Sincerely, Tonya
For crying out loud. . . . .apparently my husband demanded his brother give him his gun back 2 weeks ago. I had no idea it was even back in the house. Geez, thanks for letting me know, bro-in-law!!!!
ugh. Guns are dangerous & designed to kill or seriously wound another.
You can't count on ur bro in law to tell u everything - i know it sucks but it's not his job to keep tabs on him &/or reporting to you he might not want to do for lots of reasons but this way he didnt betray his bro & u still found out the truth. Now u can decide what to do with or about it.
I know when I was depressed & suicidal, having a gun in the house was not an option for me. My b/f has 7 guns but he keeps them locked in his huge safe. He rarely drinks & is not an A. I grew up with addicts/alcoholics and they are unpredictable. Better safe than sorry. Focus on YOU & what you need to have serenity today.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
I agree guns and alcohol are a dangerous combination. Your husband already knows your position on having the gun in the house and has chosen to bring the gun back into your home.
There may be a legal means of having it removed. In NJ, where my son lived, guns permits were issued with the stipulation that if the person licensed to have the gun, was treated for alcoholism or a mental illness. then the permit and the gun must be surrendered.
Check if your State has that requirement. I called the police Dept. They investigated the Hospital Records and came to his home and took the guns and permit. He was able to get them back by going to court proving long term soberity.
Unfortunately, that never happened. The guns however were no longer an issue.
Aloha Mom...Great post...very very important and just a part of my own experience is that a person under the influence of any mind and mood altering chemical either produced in industry or produced within the body...adrenaline for example become "altered". After being altered they are not "normal" or how we usually respond to life. I knew guns. Guns were my hobby and I shot often. I use to alter and repair my guns and the guns of others and use to reload my own bullets. I was good at shooting...very good at shooting and would surprise others with what I could do to prove I was good. In the end I sold all my guns and those I could not sell I gave away. I listened honestly to my ex-addict wife after a shooting event that didn't require her to be the target and it scared her so much she didn't talk to me for days and when she did I listened to how she saw what I did as a reaction with one of my guns and I had to agree. Even when I wasn't in my most right self I could shoot from reaction and kill a target in total darkness. I have never owned a gun since. I am not afraid to not have one.
I don't do guns, especially with kids in the house. Nothing I have is worth my life or anyone elses. I would never allow a gun in my home with an active A or addict. I'm right there with Andrea, sell the gun make it go bye bye it's your house too. Just my opinion..
I keep a gun in my home (six shot revolver) for my protection. It is well away from the A. Years ago he decided to purchase a rifle and do some target shooting. He is from England and never owned a gun before. Firearms are mostly illegal there. First thing I knew, he blew a hole in a bookcase; six books were blown apart, and shortly after he nearly shot the dog. All of this with an "unloaded" gun!!!! I took the gun and did away with it. I will NEVER allow him to handle a gun, drunk or sober, as long as I can keep him from doing so. My A, as yours, is not a violent man. More of a "Dick Cheney" type, either of which can do serious harm.
I agree with your choice to keep the gun away. He can always buy another one I suppose, but I would do what I could to prevent a catastrophe. BTW that CANNOT be considered enabling even by the most rabid of accusers!!!
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata