The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
When I grew up we were FAR from wealthy. We ate good and were clothed but extras weren't possible for a widow with two small children. My father passed away when I was 2 and my oldest brother was called into the Army. My middle brother (7 yrs older than me-9 at the time), my mom and I moved and mom started a whole new life for us......many miles away.
One of the things I remember most, was crayons. We never had much money for "luxerys" or "toys" and when school was ready to start mom would get me the BIG box of Crayola Crayons with the sharpener in the back and I would feel like a million bucks. Soooo many colors, all brand new (no hand me downs here) and sooo many ideas in my head as to what I could create, my imagination soared. There was little that compared to my box of crayons, and NOTHING that compared to how RICH I felt when I got them:) I could sit and color and design for hours and clear my mind of any worries (yes even as a small child I worried immensely), I felt completely relaxed at peace, and serene.
Weds nite while shopping with my son, I found myself drawn to the Crayola isle at our local WalMart. Maybe it was that this week has been topsy tervy with me feeling "off" and confused in a few areas to say the least:) (HALT didn't even start to cover it), or maybe it was just me longing for simpler times when things were just easier.
So there I was in Walmart staring like a wide eyed child at all the new stuff crayola has out, when my eyes settled on my favorites.....the big ole' box with the sharpener in the back and endless colors. I "discreetly" tucked them in my buggy amoung all my "grown up" purchases and "casually" asked my 12 yr old son where the coloring books were as we were strolling away from the isle. His reply, without missing a beat was "PROBALLY BACK IN THE MID LIFE CRISIS SECTION WHERE YA GOT YOUR CRAYONS!" I had to laugh out loud in spite of it all.
I thought several times between that isle and the counter about putting the crayons back, I mean really "How old am I?", but I just kept remembering the feelings that they used to bring when I was little. Each time I tucked them further down in my buggy:) Before I left the store I was lucky enough to find me a Sponge Bob Square Pants coloring book and YES I bought that too-lol.
Last night after all the chores were done, I sat at the kitchen table and after much begging from my son to PLEASE share (I never liked to share my crayons with ANYONE-lol) he and sat there and colored, something we hadn't done in years. I felt that same serenity creep over me from years ago, and the happiness of years gone by when life wasn't so complicated, and hearts didn't break. I think my son enjoyed the time together as much as I did.
All of it got me thinking that maybe this weekend I'll just take some time off, from being a grown up and running and hurrying and working and cleaning, and just spend it with my son. He's growing up sooo fast and I don't want to miss it....
Maybe this weekend I'll keep in mind that "Easy does it" and we'll just color some more and enjoy it one day at a time....
Thanks for letting me share shelly
__________________
Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
I LOVE to indulge in my inner child...I got crayons AND pla-dough...Love to make stuff with my Pla-dough and then squish it and make some more stuff....I notice when my Ic is mad she makes "mad stuff".....drawing, pla-dough, writing with my left hand all help my IC "come out" and voice her feelings....
I also have my favorite stuffed toys that I cuddle when I want affection and/or talking with my HP ...Last night I cuddled with my stuffed ducky....he is U G L Y!!!! ugliest ducky I ever saw...naked, white, kinda floppy from all the washings..and his face is funny, but I hold him and cuddle when I am having a down time...OR just for the heck of it , just to be with me and my inner child...
I loved reading this.....yea, there is NOTHING wrong and EVERYTHING healthy about adults letting their children, inner and outter PLAY!!!!!!
I love to color and also have stuffed animals from childhood. I allow my inner child to be alive & free. I could see how having a kiddo could help one to keep that inner child alive. I think taking time off to chill, relax & just be with your child is great bonding & something the both of you will remember for a long time to come.
__________________
Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Thank you for your post. I really enjoyed reading it and thinking back at the times my daughter and I colored together. One night when my daughters friend was staying over, I wrote her friends name in big letters and colored them in with patterns and many different colors. When I was finished I gave it to her. She still has it hanging up on the wall at her house.
Everytime I see it I think back to that day. I think coloring is a great stress relief or doing any other simple "kid" activities.
I also have a stuffed animal I hug when I'm sad or hurt and it always brings me comfort. He's a stuffed dog, 13 years old, and he's always there for me.
Thank you for this post Shelly. I LOVE IT!!! I got lost in your description of your delight in the crayons of years gone by. And your delight in finding yourself in the Crayola aisle. You know, I might just treat myself to some crayons and a coloring book. Sounds so relaxing... And I'll think of you when I am "staying in the lines."
With great caring,
Diva
__________________
"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
