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My 15 yo son went to court yesterday. He pleaded guilty to some charges he claims he is innocent on b/c the court had enough circumstantial evidence to convict him. He plea bargained and the lessened one of the major charges down to a misdemeanor, which was great. And by pleading guilty, it allowed him to enter the drug court program. Once he completes this 12 month program, all charges will be cleared. After he was done talking to the judge, they took him to detention b/c he admitted to and tested positive for pot. We expected this so I was fine with it.
So this is a pretty good outcome all things considered and he will be getting the help he needs. It will also be helping me b/c I know longer have to give him consequences to his actions. The new program has steps he has to complete and consequences when not completed or when rules are broken. I am figuring he will be spending quite a bit of time in and out of detention for a while until he gets tired of sleeping on the concrete floor and decides to straighten up.
I called his dad (my exAH/bf) last night to tell him the outcome of court. We haven't been speaking much lately. He didn't even bother to call me on mother's day, much less come by and see me. I called him several times that day and he didn't answer. Normally, when he misses my call, he calls me back as soon as he can. But nope not lately. I have gotten the feeling over the last couple of months that he is trying to end our new relationship. I am fine with this, just waiting for him to do it. No big deal.
But anyway, our conversation last night ended up a bit tense. He started in on me about how it sucks that he is going to have to pay child support on our son for longer than his 18th bday if he is still in school. He said that he'd have to pay until he is 21 if he stays in school that long and that pisses him off. I was like, "Well, I have to support him myself until he is done with school." His response was that he lives w/me not him and he shouldn't have to pay support on him after he is an adult. This was really pissing me off. Child support has always been a big white elephant in the room for us. He is resentful towards me for having to pay it b/c he sees it as preventing him from being able to afford his own place. I finally put the conversation to a halt when I said, "Why are you even worrying about something that is 2 years down the road? We can't predict what is going to happen week to week, much less 2 years away. We'll worry with that when the time comes." He didn't like that too much and told me to tell our daughter good night and he loves her. That was that.
Sorry this was so long...but I just needed to vent. To wrap it up, there was a positive outcome for my son and there was further proof to me that my relationship w/my exah/bf is coming to an end. Thanks for listening. Sorry for any typos.
If he was living in the home wouldn't he be helping to pay for college anyway? We had to pay $650.00 a month until my step children were 23 yrs old and through college. Two of them. Sure it wasn't any fun paying that amount every month for 15 yrs. but we now have a son that has taught English in Japan and New Zealand and has goals to go back again this year to become a professor. My stepdaughter is also a teacher and teaches blind and special needs students.
p.s. Not only did my husband always pay, but my X wouldn't pay support at all so my AH supported his kids, my two girls and the son we have together. Tell him I said "Suck it up buttercup"
-- Edited by Christy on Friday 15th of May 2009 12:12:50 PM
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
AMEN on the "his loss"....And WHO would want a guy who doesn't even want to support his kid if he is in school????? That would turn me off COLD...Glad you are seeing him for what he is and are cutting him loose....To me???? I would walk away...LET GO......Take care of me and the kids and he can kiss my buns!!!!
I am so glad that you are not in denial about this loser.....You deserve better!!! GO FOR IT!!!!
Also, I am glad the kid is going to get some help....Prayers comin your way re: ALL of you!!!
yeah, just like what the rest said underlined and with cherries on top!!!! For the love of god, this is his flesh and blood- what a sad sad situation and I am so sorry you need to live with this kind of ugliness. But yes, he has a horrible disease which is doing the talkin', it seems. my best thoughts and prayers are with you- no denial any more- you just got yourself some true colors. hugs, J.
