The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yesterday was my last day with my old teaching job. In August I start teaching in a new subject area - same school. After 15 years, it was bittersweet. No fanfare, no party, no gold watch (he, he). They asked for my keys. The transition is from a great environment - terrible co-worker to a new challenge, chance to learn new skills, and working with my AHsober who moved out and wants out of this marriage. What am I thinking? With my HP's help, it feels like the right move. We talked about the awkwardness of the situation. He is usually so out of touch with his feelings, he is basically clueless that this is painful. I am hopeful that this transtion will put me in a better place. This decision was made with the help of my sponsor and my HP.
Well, it is hard to negotiate with an A but I feel like our "new" relationship has no rules. I am not willing to do it. He says he is clueless. He always says that he is left out of the conversation when it comes to our sons. So I gave him a rundown of each one. The oldest son (who has our two grandchildren) is bringing the youngest to my house (coming home from college). I invited my AHsober to the house for a barbeque. He never invites me to his house. Our second son said come see me and bring mom. I said fine. I told him the truth - that it is difficult to be around him because he always keep divorce on the table. I asked him what the "rules" were of this new relationship.
Well, my life is in transtion. I hate being so unsettled. Trying to work my program. Stay out of my AHsober's way. Every time I say to myself that this it, no more, something comes up. And then I have to make a decision. It is hard to know what is the right way to go.
Sounds to me that "You are doing the Best You Can at the Moment", so good for you for handling things with a "grain of Salt", and allowing them to happen without taking over your world.. You show great strength and growth in your post, and sounds as tho you are moving along...
Congrats on the NEW Job coming up, and I hope that it will be everything you hoped it would be, just putting yourself out there to learn it is a big step... Good For you for keeping your LIfe Moving forward :)
Thanks for your share...Take what you like & leave the rest... Love & Prayers Jozie
Ugh, I do know that unsettled feeling Nancy, I really do recall that and I HATED it. I was in limbo for around 3 years. Hated that so much but one of the blessings of life is that nothing stays the same forever. Eventually, something "gave way" and tipped the scales. I am not sure exactly what it was but BOY did it feel good! And it will for you, too. That day will come, my friend. I promise you this. Till then, its one day, one moment at a time and you know what to do: keep making the next right decision. You sound pretty terrific considering the circumstances. I am glad that you have a new frontier ahead of you! Exciting! hugs, J.
Aloha Nancy...He probably doesn't have a clue on how much support you have behind you...?? You've got a lot of experience and program and a HP that you can at all times fall back on. You don't even have to focus on where he's at, what he's feeling, what he's thinking or the like. It's a job and you're working with a person you know lots about...not your husband. If there are job boundaries...get them and follow them and as hard as it is to work, keep the other stuff out of it. This is one major test for Nancy M and her program. I'm already impressed. I pray you'll do well serving the people you will be serving and feeling satisfied when you pick up your pay check.
