This is where a sponsor comes riding in to your life or a spiritual guide you can
trust or the like.   An experienced program sponsor can guide you thru how they
did it.   Also Al-Anon has literature namely "Blueprint for Progress" that is a
4th step inventory book that lots of members here have used and like.  Some of
the gals here have had 4th step special meetings and went thru the booklet.

One of the best 4ths I did started on learning the definitions of Searching...
Fearless...and then Moral and then applying those assets to my attempt at
locate and identify my assets and liabilities in character.   I spent time looking
and didn't hold back on what I found...didn't let fear, shame or guilt stop me
from listing the defect and listed what I knew about me that was morally good
and morally bad.

If you're going to face to face meetings ask some of the old timers to help  you
with it.  If  you are not going to face to face meetings...go and look for the
old timers and then follow thru.

(((((hugs)))))

I have done the steps many times but let me get this out of the way & in the open, in over 20 years, I've never worked with a sponsor.  It is suggested that you have a sponsor (program mentor) to work with so the steps & the process is easier with another guiding you through it.  This stuff isn't easy, we need someone else who has been there.

I was told to do each step carefully, thoughtfully and absolutely thoroughly b4 moving on to the next step.  You should feel like you have exhausted every aspect of each step before proceeding.  I've heard of some taking a year for each step. 
    The first ttime I went through my steps, I could not think of one positive attribute I had, I was so consumed with & focused on negativity.

It is an inventory, an itemized list of all of your traits.  Be specific, be honest.  Take your time in thinking of this.  Be sure to identify your positive traits too.

You say you dont know how to start -- do some prayer & meditation work, ask for guidance from HP to work the step.  Honesty is the most crucial thing & for me simply not rushing but exhasuting the step was key for me.

Each time I have done this step, a lot of things are repeatted but I usually always find sime new traits.  Once you work through all the steps, you will find that you will continue to work them, you can work them all simultaneously.  But that is ahead of you - this is now & this is all you ought to focus on.  One step at a time, literally.

Many years later in the program, I realized that not all negative traits are bad. Sometimes it may really help you, you just never know, it's very interesting.  I'm trying to say, dont feel bad or condemn yourself for negative traits -- there is a purpose & a reason for everything.

My best suggestion, is take your sweet time & be brutally honest.  Fully exhaust the work on the step.

Also, reach out & consider a few people for your sponsor.  Keep an open mind.  In the past a lot of people that truly aggrivated me initially, are some of the ones I've learned the most from.  I would use prayer & ask HP for guidance with this too.  Sometimes the answers are a subtle nudging but hp always helps when we ask.

I too would highly recommend getting a sponsor to work with.

Al-Anon's "Blueprint for Progress" is certainly a great tool.

There are other methods as well.

The one I found worked the best for me, and the one I recommend to those I sponsor actually comes from AA and is a series of questions which cover the different "eras" of a person's life, childhood, adolescence, etc.

Here is a link to one version of that:
http://www.network12.com/four/4thstep.htm

It basically prompts you to write out your life story.  It worked miracles on me.  Some of the questions didn't apply (those dealing with alcohol/drinking) since I don't have that problem, but I found sometimes even those triggered things in me.

Anyway, many different methods out there.  Getting a guide (sponsor) to help is essential. 

Don't be shy.  No safer people to ask for help than program people.  Some might say no, but only because they feel they are not ready to sponsor, or they already are carrying a full load.  But keep searching til you find one. 

Have a great day!

David

Thanks Rosie, David Kitty Tiger and Jerry. I started in this program with al-akid, Al- ATeen Then Al-anon.  Its been a long time doing the steps again but it feels so good to go through them again. I quit for a while thinking IM DONE BUT YOU ARE NEVER DONE . I need this program forever to stay mentaly healthy.