The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I wrote this REAL nice email to my shrink...Told her that this was MY recovery and the focus needed to be on ME and what was best for ME....NO ordering me and adding shame to my pain....
Anyway, she writes back and DENIED telling me to "honor my father"....she DENIED even talking about him.........I told her that I always take notes on our meets to cogitate/pray on and "YES YOU DID SAY THAT!!!".... however I told her it was OK, if she didn't "recall".... and that this "further incident" between us proved that our story in each other's lives is over....
I said God bless to her and that I had found my healthy HOME!!!!! HERE at MIP Al-anon board and one other real good board and there are meets here every night and its FREE....AND noone is trying to push their agenda on me.....
TALK about CROSSTALK.....MAN!!!! I am floored!!!! She DENIED telling me that "you gotta honour your father too"........Good thing I take notes during our sessions.....I would think I was NUTS.....or maybe its "temporary alzheimers".....
wooooo she is NOT for me....NICE, but NOT for me...........I am grateful for the good.....NOW its time for me to take care of ME!!!
Thanks you guys for your MUCH healthier input to my issue than a paid shrink........
and ya know what??? I must be getting over my abandonment issues because she said that last week she felt we may have been "done" (that was when I told her to NOT tell me to do something that was just NOT right or feasible) and then she said my "boundary" email confirmed that we are DONE!!!!
So I got dumped because I set a boundary.......WOW!!!!! and the good part is.....I am OK!!! I am OK enough to look at the good and go to the next chapture........
You cut the strings that bind and are taking over the driving. Coool Good shrinks known when they are done. Better shrinks can be honest about "their stuff". I had a better shrink and it was a pleasure and I think both he and I were better off for the work we did together. He sure didn't like the program though....LOL I still suggested that he look in to it.
Remember now...one mile at a time and not too fast!!
Your recovery, in your time, the way you can handle it.
I did not feel right about your shrink, only my opinion that she should NOT tell you want to do.
However, a counsellor facilities, helps YOU find your way and helps YOU hear what you are saying...does NOT tell you the way to go, makes you listen to what THEY THINK YOU SHOULD DO,THINK, PROGRESS...
...so, you are free...you took what you needed at the time, you analyzed the situation for yourself and now you move on...I am waving at you...hey that's me just a step ahead...you'll soon be overtaking me and when I am behind you you can wave at me and encourage me when I am down, I hope.
God alone is the one to trust completely and this family alone will give you that unconditional support and love that each member has got in their own time...compassion in common experiences, that's how I see it...
Love and encouragement is what I am sending your way from across the pond here.
Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
I sought counseling many, many moons ago and unless a counselor understands that alcoholism is a disease and has attended any meetings themselves, they don't always understand as many of us "untrained" professionals do.
Way to go for taking good care of you, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
I have trouble with the "christian" counseling thing. I went to one years ago and I was dating an alcoholic. I wanted to break up with him and I remember her telling me the bible verse about "it's not good to be alone" or something like that. So, I didn't break up with him. Stick with the program.
What a huge leap of recovery. Setting a boundary indeed!!
Nothing drives me crazier than when people deny what they have said or done and/or claim it was a misunderstanding.
My mother was my original qualifer and she was a lifelong blackout drinker. It took me years and years of Alanon to understand what this means. Very difficult to describe the pain of that relationship.
A big part of recovery is learning to stand in your own truth. What a great job you are doing!!
Time is never wasted if we at least get something positive out of the situation. I am starting to realize more and more each day that it is progress not perfection. And progresss feels great, doesn't it??? Sincerely, Tonya
