The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I received a visit from the son I know and love, he came by to see me this past weekend after he had a falling out with his best friends and his major supplier of drugs. We sat across the kitchen table from each other and drank Coca-Cola and ate cookies (just like when he was little) we laughed and talked about good memories. I felt good and rested that night and looked forward to the week (something that doesn't come easy for me anymore).
Well, I didn't hear from him for two days after that, but last night he came by to see me and as he walked in the door my AS came in, the one that smelled of drugs and liquor and his eyes were red and he had trouble keeping them open. Everything I said got on his nerves, no smiles or laughter.
I had him back for a little visit and it was so nice.
Yes, addi tion is veru cruel. Just remeber the good visit you had with your son a few days ago. He is powerless over his addiction, as you are powerless to control him.
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Clara
------------------------------------ What don't kill you, makes you stronger!!!
Thanks for sharing the other side of the disease when one is "sober." Your kitchen table talk with you seeing your son like when he was little touched my
in recovery, Maria
I've shared this before, but for those who are new, I'll share again:
I am an alcoholic, I need your help. Don't lecture me, blame or scold me. You wouldn't be angry at me for having TB or diabetes. Alcoholism is a disease too.
Don't pour out my liquor; it's a waste because I can always find ways of getting more. Don't let me provoke your anger. If you attack me verbally or physically, you will only confirm my bad opinion about myself.
I hate myself enough already. Don't let your love and anxiety for me lead you into doing what I ought to do for myself. If you assume my responsibilities, you make my failure to assume them permanent.
My sense of guilt will be increased, and you will feel resentful. Don't accept my promises. I'll promise anything to get off the hook. But the nature of my illness prevents me from keeping my promises, even though I mean them at the time. Don't make empty threats.
Once you have made a decision, stick to it. Don't believe everything I tell you; it may be a lie. Denial of reality is a symptom of my illness. Moreover, I'm likely to lose respect for those I can fool easily and you know it.
Don't let me take advantage of you or exploit you in any way. Love cannot exist for long without the dimension of justice. Don't cover up for me or try in any way to spare me the consequences of my drinking. Don't lie for me, pay my bills, or meet my obligations. It may avert or reduce the very crisis that would prompt me to seek help.
I can continue to deny that I have a drinking problem as long as you provide an automatic escape for the consequences of my drinking. Above all, do learn all you can about alcoholism and your role in relation to me.
Go to open AA meetings when you can. Attend Al-Anon meetings regularly, read the literature and keep in touch with al-anon members. They're the people who can help you see the whole situation clearly.
I love you. Your Alcoholic
Source: Unknown
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Good Afternoon Dreams Over, I cherish those moments with my AH. I think it is those moments that keep me going and not giving up on him. I pray that you get another chance to visit with him and have cookies and cola. Sincerely, Tonya
