The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was just wondering if you all would share a few things you learned in Alanon you liked best and have helped you work your program! Here are my couple:
Trust HP (still working on it though) No or low expectations for A's or anyone for that matter Mind my own business and worry about ME and no one else!
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"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." Will Rogers
-- > By working the program I can keep loving the insane people in my life. (I might have to disconnect from them, but I don't have to get to a point where they wreck me and I come to hate them.)
-- >Put your own oxygen mask on first.
And here's something I thought was funny: "You can tell when an Al-anon has let go of something because there are claw marks all over it."
I'm thinking of putting them in a very thick book!! LOL
.How about the short version of the steps? Trust God - Clean House - Help others. .Or when listening to the alcoholic tell you how the meeting went, "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is." I got this from my sponsor after my alcoholic wife tried to convince me that she had just come from a chips and dips meeting at one of the recovering members apartment (a guy no less). I responded, "That's great, you still have to go pickup the check book at the liquor store."
.What ever happens "DON'T REACT to it" take a few seconds and then RESPOND to it."
.I love and now believe, "God never gives me too much to handle. It's me who always picks up too much to carry."
.Some peoples definition of God is the acronym G (ood) O (rderly) D (irection).
.Don't keep playing "the pillow" between your alcoholic and her bottom. Let her have the crash.
.When I was being led thru my denial that my spouse was my alcoholic my sponsor one night brought me to this metaphor, "If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...IT'S A DUCK!! LOL...I have been to alot of meetings near lakes and ponds and everytime a duck waddles by I say, "there goes my alcoholic."
.If you don't like how the play of your life is going...change your script. The play will have to stop and/or change.
."Faith is not so much the belief in something without seeing but the reliance upon it without reservation." For me there was a huge difference.
."When you stop controling everything around you and surrender and abandon yourself to God as you understand God you might feel a gentle "bump" to your back as God catches up with you.
.Love is the complete and total "Acceptance" of every human being for exactly who they are. To live this program is to learn to love as God does. I didn't get this in a church. I got it from an early member who helped change my eyesight.
.The answers to the questions are as important as those who ask them. For instance. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" asked by my alcoholic wife while she was suffering from the effects of a nasty drunk and while I was expecting her to relate to me as if she had been sober all her life. While she was in hell I held her feet to the fire. Put this one up along side the one before it. The answer is most important.
The list is endless. I have been around long enough to have learned that a successful suicide is not about ending your life but ending how you live it. Mahalo Nui Al-Anon Family Groups.
(((((hugs)))))
-- Edited by Jerry F on Friday 8th of May 2009 08:31:16 PM
6 Gs : get off their backs, get into myself, get to a meeting, get on w/ my life, get busy, get out of gods way.
FACE IT: Become aware of the thinking/behaviour that is a problem
TRACE IT: Try to establish where you think it comes from and why
EMBRACE IT: Accept that you did the best you could with what you had at the time but it no longer needs to be that way. Forgive yourself.
ERASE IT: The thinking/behaviour no longer serves your best interests. To erase it, ask God to remove your shortcomings. Refuse to participate in the same thinking and behaviour patterns. You may 'slip' from time to time but thats ok, it's a process and it's about progress not perfection.
REPLACE IT: Nothing exists in a vacuum therefore if you remove something you need to put something else in it's place. Where possible fill the void with Gods love. You can replace negative thinking/behaviour with positive, healthy responses. Use the tools of the program. Sometimes we try something new and it doesn't work out for us, that's ok too, just try something different.
"What you focus on grows." KoL
-- Edited by kitty on Saturday 9th of May 2009 09:33:43 AM
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Some of the many things this slogan has helped me to "Unlearn".
1. Counting empty cans or checking bottles used to be a daily routine. It was the thing to do. I had to know. The night I cut my finger digging through the kitchen garbage at 11:30 P.M. was a hint, the real eye opener. At first I was mad at my AW because I had cut my finger, but then she was asleep, and I was the sick one on my knees digging in gargage in the middle of the night. I still have a small scar as a reminder. How important is it?
2. You don't have to win every discussion or disagreement with your A. Just say "You might be right", detach and save your sanity, with no futher discussion. You won't be able to walk into the bathroom, put a mark on the mirror, and say to yourself "I won that Battle". But, How important is it?
3. You don't have to be the fixer of everyone's problems. Just because someone tells you of a problem in their life, does not mean you should jump in with both feet, take over and feel obligated to fix and make everything right for them. I don't do that anymore, and I have lots more time to take care of myself. How important is it?
4. You don't have to take life so serious. Now when I have 50 things on my mind from my AW to problems at my business, I imagime I am in a plane flying over a large city at night. I look down and see thouands upon thousands of lights and realize how small I am in the big scheme of things. I no longer ruin a precious day my HP has given me over things I have no control over. How important is it?
5. To keep practicing this program as best I can in my everyday life, and always taking care of myself first. How important is that? Well, let's just say, "Priceless".
HUGS, RLC
-- Edited by RLC on Saturday 9th of May 2009 01:18:22 PM
