The material presented
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I have always tried to work in my expectations of life, but mostly family..lol... When I would visit my "Now Deseased" Afather I would say a little chant, kinda like my own little serenity prayer before I knew it existed...lol.. and it was "Ok when I get to Adad's I will Not Expect Anything, For only then will I Not Be Let down" ... So I have desided to use that now on my Abrother... And boy what a blessing it has been this last week :)
I have been doing as I promised... I have been gettin in there and gettin me some "progress not Profection" I finally tracked down a title for my Afathers trailer, and it took about 15 called to 5 differant places and basically me doing the work of many... but its all good ;)
So today, there was a breif brake in the rain, and I knew that I had to get to Dad's and mow the lawn and trim, and get a table for my grandma, and many many things had to happen, and I GOT'M Done! Me & My Boy...
Now the last month & a half, I have been doing this weekly, and differant times, depending on when I can get away... All the while, my younger 30 yrs old ABrother, Stands at the Local bar, ON the Porch, and WATCH'S me, hasn't missed a mowing... He is ALWAYS there...So today he got to watch me mow and move and what not... And today, I went into a quiet place before I went to dads, took me 10 minutes of down time, said my prayers, worked my program, read my daily's, and went up with NO Expectations... And was it nice... I almost "Flip'd him the bird" for I was so happy, but didn't... Maintained a good attitude, had high spirits, and I know that my Afather is looking down from heaven, Saying Thank YOU!!! And that is what is important to me, for I know I can handle it, and I know that it will only make me stronger, and I know that my HP walked me right to the place "In My Head" that I needed to be, to not be bothered by his ignorance.
Usually I would drive up to were he was, and mix words of nothing, listen to him tell me lies for no reason, just talking about Nothing...and then go home... Upset, Mad, disappointed, and Hurt....But...Today.... I drove to the stop sign. Looked him right in the face, and put my turn signal on and drove on by...Didn't even act like I knew him... "Which in reality" I don't know him... ANd Usually that would have hurt me more to drive by.. then him, but today, I could FEEL my HP at work... I could feel him pushing me thru that sign, with a smile on my face, and pride in my heart...
So Tho I am still on my own on my Afathers Estate, out of 5 children that live within 5 miles of the place, I am DOING OK... I am bringing it around... And I Am going to be Just fine... Thanks to My HP, My Will, My Program, and My MIP family for support... My Expections of the "A's" in my life have left the building, and now the only person I Count on is ME:) & My HP...And I am good with that as well :) for I know I can count on me, so Problem Solved...
Get'n It Done, One Moment at a Time :) And Loving my life in the process...What would I do without all of you :) Thanks a ton... Would love to hear your thoughts :)
What a powerful post. I heard so much Acceptance in your share. The end result was greater condifence in you and HP and detachment from your A Brother.
What a powerful post. I heard so much Acceptance in your share. The end result was greater condifence in you and HP and detachment from your A Brother.
You are certainly working a strong program.
A Day At A Time it will all get done.
Peace
YES....Jozie, you are coming a LONG way girl!!!! you GO GIRL!!! keep on keepin on.....you are doing GREAT!!!!!! your post really was powerful...i agree with hotrod....keep up the great work......HUGS, rosie