The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Had a moment of weakness yesterday and of course I ran to my sponsor with my tail placed firmly between my legs:)
My sponsor thinks a lot of times that she causes me pain and hurt at times by her responses, and sometimes they do sting. NOT because of WHAT she says or HOW she says it but because she is right, always dead on the money, and accepting the reality of my actions or situation at times, can be painful.
I realized yesterday how HP gives me gifts in the strangest ways and sometimes I find myself in such awe of this whole program. It's funny anymore how easily He can redirect my thought process if I just trust in His will for me and give up mine.
While I normally would have been preoccupied with the whole drama that I put myself in yesterday, what I found was that I contacted my sponsor and sooo much of the weight of MY actions went away almost instantly, just by getting it out, and knowing I wouldn't be judged for my actions.
But I realized even moreso this morning while thinking about it all, that she is such a blessing in my life. I need and cherish her ESH, and her directness and honesty. There is such a serenity in knowing I can go to her with anything, and KNOW that she will never tell me what she thinks I want to hear. I can go to her and KNOW in my heart that she will only ever tell me the truth, and there is a peace in that that I find sooooo refreshing. She gives me so much hope at times, and it's funny how I know at times, she thinks she is being "the bad gal" yet I doubt she knows that I wouldn't change a thing about her or our sponsorship (unless I could move her closer:)) for the world. She is AMAZING!
So today instead of dwelling on the mistakes of yesterday, HP woke me up and let me know that in the face of all the craziness I bring on myself at times, that He has sent me a Guiding Light to use when I get lost, and has replaced many of my insecurities with something that I KNOW I can count on always. He sent me a friend...a true friend. And even though it isn't always easy for her to hold me up, and shine her light to lead me in the right direction, she does, and for that I am truly grateful.
Thanks for letting me share....... Your friend in recovery Shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
LOLOL...DJKM!! and I agree. Wow!! Shelly. You are being blessed and you realize it. Keep coming out of the dark. Don't stand in the way of your own light.
Good for you, for working it to the fullest and for letting someone else in, and doing what you need to do for yourself... you deserve it, so enjoy :)
I know that I am too close to alot of your hassles and I am sorry for that, but I am not sorry for our friendship, and our bond within... For I am so grateful for you leading me by the hand to this wonderful family, and being my "Push" to the F2F, you have brought my life much happiness... I am eternally grateful for you :)
Love & Prayers Letting Go & Letting God... One Moment at a Time :) Jozie
