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Hi all This is my first post. I went to my first F2F meeting the other day and it was really good. My biggest fear came true: I saw someone I knew there and was really scared at first but it worked out great actually :)
Unfortunately I cannot get to a lot of f2f meetings because of babysitting issues. I do have lots of literature and have been reading it every day.
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The reason I have come to al-anon is because of my anxiety. My A does not drink all the time, only once in a while but when he does drink he occasionally (once every 2-3 months) drinks to the point of alcohol psychosis (hallucinating, screaming at nobody etc). he doesnt remember any of it and is fine most of the time so its a bit of a weird situation. he will sometimes go months without getting drunk at all (have a beer here or there).
Also he was much worse when we met 10 yrs ago. he would be drinking almost daily then (socially though, he had a group of friends he did it with). so i know Aism is progressive but he does seem "overall" better over time.
long story short....I now tend to avoid social situations with him because I end up frozen with anxiety about him getting drunk and hallucinating etc. He often wants to have parties and friends over and so on, things I used to enjoy but I am too scared now - mainly because of the kids (before them it somehow didn't bother me as much??!) He thinks I am nuts with my worry (and counting drinks etc) because it's so rarely that it gets to that state and the rest of the time is fairly normal. I don't want to have no social life because of this worry, I have to let go I know but it's hard. I have almost panic attacks if he has more then a couple of beer.
Welcome tweety , binge drinkers are difficult , just when u think wheeeeeeew , wham it starts over again . You remind me of myself many yrs ago , whenu stopped being social because of his problem ,please don't do that to yourself , your not responsible for his behavior . start having people over again this is yur home too time to take it back . Until we stop protecting them absolutley nothing will change enabling only allows the behaivor to continue . step aside get your life back and let life happen the way it should . I am sure u have better things to do than count his drinks , if he is like most asking him to stop at 3 or 6 never works anyway. enjoy your friends and company If you have our daily reader go to page JULY 14th everything we need to do is on that page or not do . do what it says to the best of your ability an dyour life will get al ot simpler . that page and the Detachment pamphlet changed my life , and ultimatley that of my family . Keep going to meetings get to as many as u can the more u go the better your going to feel . good luck Louise
I started having anxiety and panic attacks a few months ago and have been dealing with my husband's drinking for the past 4 years. Like your husband, it wasn't constant, he would have his binges every couples of months. But the fact that I was having anxiety and panic attacks is what got me through the doors of my first meeting. I'm seeing a therapist, a psychiatrist, and have been prescribed medications (as needed), but I honestly believe that Al-Anon is the best thing for me. The 2nd meeting I attended, I had someone come up to me afterwards and comment that she too suffered from severe anxiety in the beginning, and from that point on, I was hooked.
I wanted to go to as many meetings as possible and absorb as much Experience, Strength, and Hope as I could. I feel like I'm the addict now - addicted to Al-Anon. I just want you to know that you're not alone. Thank goodness for this message board because I too have a small child and deal with babysitting issues. If you can't make it to face-to-face meetings, then keep coming back here! Everyone on this message board has been amazing - they've been a great help to me and I know they can help you too.
Thanks guys.. I enjoyed the f2f meeting but since it's hard to get to it's great to know i have another place to go, online.
I am most worried about his alcohol psychosis episodes. they would happen late at night after everyone goes home. so it's not really that other people would see it (besides which everyone we know knows he is a heavy drinker) but just that it's crazy and scary and i wouldn't want the kids to see it as they would be terrified.
Tweety- Thanks for your share and introduction. While you don't have control over WHEN the alcoholic/psychotic episodes will take place - you can choose what situations you do put yourself in. I don't blame you for not wanting to expose yourself to social situations where this could occur. Your anxiety is justified - I am not sure what else to say except that you aren't required to put yourself in such situations with your A, when alcohol is present and that I am glad you are here on this board to share with us.
welcome why not try the online meetings here. I used to go to them and they really helped me. I'd also recommend reading getting them sober as well as posting here often.
