The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
HANDLE THE NEEDINESS. Neediness is an emotion created by fear and is therefore one of the prime destroyers of love. It stands to reason that if we are feeling needy, consciously or unconsciously, we are always trying to manipulate our mate with the desperate hope that they will make us feel whole. Neediness causes us to protect ourselves at the expense of our mate, to close our hearts, to judge our mates and blame them for our unhappiness, to become angry, resentful and defensive. Not a pretty picture!
We can handle the neediness by building a rich life for ourselves that involves our commitment to family, friends, career, volunteering, and so on. This allows us to be "safely vulnerable" always knowing, that no matter what happens in our relationship, our life is full and we have much to contribute to this world. In this way, our neediness disappears. And our ability to open our heart to love without fear increases dramatically. We become a magnet to all that is good in this world...and that includes a truly wonderful relationship
I got this reading from the Susan Jeffers newsletter, I really like it, I hate being needy and I know I come across as very needy. I never knew what to do about it. This helps.
I also find myself having many moments of needy-ness...I never really saw myself as a needy person, but sometimes when I am looking at myself, I see the signs of how needy I can be...
My need sometimes is nothing more then a hug or a pat on the back, and well I have got to the point with my H that I just body block him when I am in need for a hug or something of that sort... He always laughed at me, because he grew up in a family were hugs weren't a necessity and in my family, as disfunctional as it was, we never left a family member without saying I love you and getting a hug... My family still flip him out when they jump at him with open arms...
Thanks for your post Mrs. Robin... I hope that you have a wonderful weekend
Robinks, I needed this this morning. I am very needy and am ALWAYS in fear. I am trying to make changes in my life and they are SLOW. Not fast enough for me...If things could happen overnight, I'd be ecstatic, but I didn't get here overnight either.
ooooh this is soooo me...STILL.....i am not as bad, but oh i can get "needy"....
to me??? mine comes from when i was BORN...i was not the "world" to ANYone...unwanted or at best, just there...so there was this big *void*...so i got needy....looking to others to fill that empty space or void when really the only thing that is going to fill it is my HP and myself....
and yea, i am "getting a life"...making my OWN way....filling my life, as i get to know me, with fulfilling things....
