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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> He's going back to AA and I'm just annoyed
Post Info TOPIC: He's going back to AA and I'm just annoyed
gngcrzy


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He's going back to AA and I'm just annoyed
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Instead of being happy, all I can think is "here we go again!" and get irritated that he puts everyone through this roller coaster.

I guess I still have some work to do on myself.



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Christy


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How about....Instead of riding on the rollercoaster, jump off and watch him take the ride alone?

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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them.  And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
gngcrzy


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yup. I thought I was off of it, but it turns out not so much if I'm this annoyed.

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canadianguy


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All part of the process of OUR recovery, I'm afraid....  I got overly hopeful of the first Treatment Center my ex-AW attended.... I had "busted my butt" to get her there, and I was sure it was the solution and end ot all of the alcoholilsm....  She drank 11 days after getting out....  When she finally chose to get sober, approximately two years later - I couldn't muster up much interest or enthusiasm..

As always, a great time to focus on you...

Tom

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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

"What you think of me is none of my business"

"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"

 

 

 

 
serendipity


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Wow! I remember being there. I remember thinking "yeah right. THIS will be the time AA takes and you'll get sober...whatever" I was annoyed that yet again WE had to make scarifices for HIM and HIS meetings. I would again be subjected to HIS pontifications on the intelligence of AA and how EVERYONE else in the program was WRONG except for him and his sponser (who was usually just as sick as he was). Oh the resentments.....

And I remember thinking that I was unwell for having those thoughts and feelings. But ya know what? I wasn't as bad off as I thought I was. I had gone the AA route with him many, many times. Ofcourse I was jaded. I was REALISTIC and he was living in the Land of Goofey. Who wouldn't be resentful?

So, yeah, put the focus back on yourself (myself) and let him do his thing. And if in 10-20 years he is still working his program and your life is happy, sane and sober, well, then maybe you will be able to let go.....LOL!!!! Good luck!!!!

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maresie


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Al anon doesn't mean being a saint. Of course its reasonable to be annoyed.

We don't become inhuman.

We just detach detach and then detach some more.

Maresie.

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maresie
Sincerely


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I'm with you on that one sista! And it is eating me alive from inside out. I can't stand myself. I am realizing that its not him I have the problem with, its myself.

Take Care and Good Luck,
Sincerely,


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With love in recovery, 

Sincerely
Christy


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Yeah, sometimes we ride it, sometimes we watch and sometimes we stand right in front of it on the track.  Luckily, Alanon has a learning curve.    biggrin

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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them.  And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
kitty


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Right. Well who cares what he's doing - I mean detach from it all. They are going to do what they have to do, as usual, & we will continue to do what we have to do for us. Focus on YOU.  When he gets to a mtg, do something else just as beneficail for you, be it a meeting yourself or an hour out shopping or reading or pursuing a hobby or excersize.

I was inprisoned mentally being a slave to obsession about others. Like I know what's good for their mental health - hahaha, what a laugh it is to me now. Today I focus on *me* & MYOB & gratitude.  It is a blessing & a relief to only deal with my issues anymore & let others be.

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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
gngcrzy


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Thanks all- you totally made me laugh! I'm not married to this guy. I'm not living with him. He's already sober- you just wouldn't know it any more, since he dropped his program. I am just surprised by my reaction.

On a side note, when I posted that Co-dependent relapse symptoms list
http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42727&p=3&topicID=27255987
it all fit him more than me, even so maybe he's just desperately in need of Al-anon. But then that list does fit about half the dry drunks I've run into.

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rosielightshines


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Christy wrote:

How about....Instead of riding on the rollercoaster, jump off and watch him take the ride alone?



This is what i do with ALL people...yea, when right, i can give esh, support, encouragment, but the "rollercoaster" part??? even with life's events....i JUMP off and give over to HP



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Rosie in recovery one day at a time
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> He's going back to AA and I'm just annoyed