Today is that of a new day... And at this moment, a new start, for that is my choice... I got up this morning, feeling the freshness in the air, that breeze on my face, and I tell ya, it was wonderful...I felt well rested, I felt anew... Not that anything special happened but I think I am getting a rythum to it again, getting back to basics, and learning as I go... Putting my phone on vibrate a Week ago has Never been more freeing...Love that...Who Knew...


Yesterday I got to spend the Day with my Grandchildren in the morning, both snot nosed but full of energy...They are 2 & 4, and sadly enough, both seem to be about the same place educationally. They also grow up in an "A" family, both work, but barely survive, she has a good job as a nurse, and he works with his father...Well my grandson was to start Kindergarten this coming school year, but was told that they would have to put him in Pre-K instead... I knew it would happen, but if I was to open my mouth, the mother would be defensive, and the father would blow it off... Since the program I have realized Just what "Being Powerless" means to "ME" now..

Those i love my grandkids without a daught, I still can not get in the way of what their own HP has in store for them.. I surely don't wish my past on them, but I can not judge what they have to experienace to become who they must be...I know both parents love them very much.. No Question there, but there is ALOT of "Aism" between and around them Both in their family's... Every corner really...

I know when I had them yesterday, that they will be OK, They need guidance, and love, but they are willing to take what you give, they are willing to learn, they just want someone to put thier attention on them, and it doesn't matter if it is making them Listen, or just sitt'n on the floor play'n with the "Woo Woo" as the grandson calls them...They know there are rules at Gam-alls, which is somthing I think would better them at home, but that is not my call...

In Al-anon I learned "what I can, & What I Can't" put myself in front of, I have learned that I am worthy of my thoughts, but I am also... Able to keep them to myself (Or) Post them here as a release from it..I have slowly moved back from most of the family crap... With my entire famliy be stretched within a 10 Mile radius, there is ALWAYS something, but I have got to the point that "I Don't Ask" I Don't put myself into carring it all, if they tell me I sypathize, give them that pat on the back, and keep them in my prayers, the rest I leave for God...

What a great feeling to have moments like this... Yesterday I sat out on my deck for the first time prob. in months, (Always wanted the deck) and realized I NEED that, I Need to sit out on a beautiful Spring day, enjoy my dogs, and leave me phone vibrate in the house...I grabbed my book, and once I wore out my puppies, I sat and read quietly and accually enjoyed the Joy that came over me in doing so... What a feeling, if just for that moment, the world stood still and I felt "Awesome"...

Thanks for letting me share... I am so grateful for al-anon, my books, my friends and my family... At least at this Moment... :)

Love & prayers to all
Jozie