The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I live in a condo that is heavily populated by retirees who don't particularly care for children and their antics. So the long and the short of it is that I have to move out by the end of next month. My credit is horriffic but my rental history and employment are great. I looked around and everything that is decent is through property management companies. I applied to one and explained prior to paying the fee that my credit is bad but my rental history is good and so is my employment. They said they could overlook bad credit but when it came back said they couldn't rent to me. I figured I have 2 choices: rent a place that is "not so desirable", or find a place through my current property management company. I found a place last weekend that is beautiful and huge, brand new in a great family community. It is more expensive than what I have now and I'm struggling as it is. I'm concerned... I have a history of leaping into things and they miraculously work out. I'm hoping that's the case here. Honestly I feel like my choices are severely limited and beggars can't be choosers. I am hopeful that everything will be great at the new place and the money will work itself out.
My ex ah has been doing well in his recovery and promises he will pay $500 on friday for support so that will help immensely with the first month and move in costs. His job is ending in a week so I'm not relying on any further help from him at this point. I didn't think it was possible when I left him for us to be on friendly terms but it has worked out well in reality. I guess time heals all and things have a way of working themselves out!
Why not get more options for yourself. I know that doing two jobs killed you. The rental market should be getting better for tenants as the rents are going down. I would hold off and see what happens. I know it will be hard for your landlord to evict you for noise.
Girl...I tell ya, knowing the history here, I NEVER thought you'd be on talking terms with your exah. I think it is great that y'all are finally able to move beyond things in the past and get along for the kids' sake. That is great.
As far as the apartment goes.....I would be leary of jumping into a place that you won't be able to afford on your own. I know that stinks...but take it from me....I am back together w/my exah and I made a huge mistake buying a new car...basing my finances on his child support payments. I have that set up through the state and it comes out of his paychecks automatically....however, he went through a slump here recently and it lasted 6 weeks. It happened right after I got my new car. And I quickly realized that he could go back to using and lose his job any day. And with that, my support would stop! And I'd be in a world of hurt getting all of my bills paid. He is out of his slump and seems to be back on track....but I had a dose of reality that scared the crap out of me. I'd hate to see you in that same boat.
I was thinking of you when I saw the wildfires down there. I hope you weren't near any of it.
I too am impressed that you are on talking terms with your ex. If you could have told me that was going to happen, I never would have believed it. Having said that, I'm with QOD don't count on the payments. Always, always have a back up plan. An addict is gonna do what an addict is gonna do, sober or not. There's nothing you can do about it. Even though I am the eternal optimist, I'd be a little cautious. I know you have to move and that's too bad, but these days that would scare the heck out of me. I have great employment history and I know that if I was late with my rent, my landlord would understand. But I have been here 15 years. I'm not so sure that if I moved into a new place and something happened, if the landlord would be so understanding. I'm an hourly employee so one week I can work 38 hours, the next 32. It makes it hard to budget. If you are salaried you might want to do 2 budgets to see if you can afford the new place without the ex's help. Make a pro and con list - be as honest as you can about it. Sometimes just seeing it on paper will help clarify it. Luck is all well and good when things go your way. But what if things go the other way, can you afford to do it anyway? That's the litmus test. Good luck. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I agree with the others. Check out all options before leaping into something you may regret later. I do not know the laws about evicting people, but I really do not think the landlord can just kick you out on the street.
Also, do not depend on your ex. The only person you can rely on is yourself.
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Clara
------------------------------------ What don't kill you, makes you stronger!!!
Glad you're on talking terms with your exAH, but agree with the others - easy does it. Step back and take a deep breath before you bite off more than you can chew. Something else that comes to mind here is this little nugget "when in doubt, don't".
