The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For what ever reason that only my AW and HP knows my wife quit drinking 10 days ago. I realized it the day it happened. She had been drinking 12 to 15 beers a day for years. When that day came 10 days ago I could'nt actually believe it, and kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. I waited a few days and over time I realized it was real. As some of you know she has been going to 6 to 8 AA meetings a week for the past 3 years, yet continuing to drink, but never in front of me. Her choice. We never discussed the matter. I would never have thought she could stop without severe withdrawal problems, or having to go through detox. I was wrong.
She is a different person, 100%. At this point the girl I married 16 years ago. For that I am so grateful. I kept asking myself as each day passed can this continue? Then I thought to myself why are you doing that? I decided I needed to enjoy and thank HP for what He had done. What I had been praying for was in front of my eyes.
My AW has not mentioned a single word to me about the change. I have thought about giving her a hug and telling her I am proud of her. After much thought I made a decision not bring it up to her first. She will, but in her own time. When she decides to bring it up I can hug her and tell her how proud I am of her at that time. Even though not one word has been mentioned I believe in my heart she knows I am so very proud of her.
She is not cured of this cunning, powerful disease. I know the disease is always there ready to raise it's ugly head. I also accept that she could slip today, or she may never drink again. HP is in charge of that. If she does I already have acceptance because of this program. I have told myself hundreds of times over the past several years, --- It's the disease dummy, it's the disease. I know that is true.
My job is to take care of myself first. That is what I have been doing and will contine to do, along with thanking my HP for the last 10 days. I'll take each day, "One Day At A Time", be thankful, and continue to work this wonderful program.
Thank you for sharing this, It gives me some hope that one day my AH will reach the point, again, of sobriety, at this point he is sober, a day at a time though, i dont get excited if he makes it past a few months, He did have 15 months, and since has struggled to get that back.
And it is the disease, i also say the same thing to myself, His only main fault is the Alchoholism, I wish their was a cure, but there isnt. I would like to know how she did it without detox, thats a dangerous thing, I know from experience, Something I will get around to posting when my thoughts are together, I recently, came back to MIP, after about 2 yrs, much has happened, and this i will share when im ready.
But thats great for your AW , I wish her much luck and u too. with your progress. It isn't an easy thing to watch someone you love struggle with that kind of pain.
I was well aware and concerned about the posibilities that could occur without detox. I kept an eye on it. I was very surprised and thankful. My thinking is that if a problem was to occur it would have been relatively soon after she stopped. Correct me if I am wrong. At this point everything is fine. Fingers crossed.
Your post brought me to tears. I can't believe how amazing you have handled things. What really struck me is you curbing your desire to say how proud you were.
I'm stuck in my own head tonight. I have been telling my AH how proud I am that he quit now for 4 months. He is NOT working his program, but goes now and then to AA. I too, have been waiting for the other shoe to drop. I need strength and this post gave it to me. It also shook me because I realize how much I have to face MYSELF and that I need to stop obsessing over my AH and his sobriety.
I am so thankful for your share and so very happy for you. You seem to be doing so well and keeping the focus on One day at a time and living in the now.
Enjoy your blessings:) your friend in recovery Shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
Awesome for both of you RLC!! Just Awesome!! By the way most people including alcoholics (or especially) can read body language. I'll bet she already knows that you already know. We don't need a special reason to hug and say I love you huh. I think I'll just go do that now myself. Practice Practice Practice.
wow what an incredible post RLC! All I can say is WOW!!!!! Yeah, alcoholism may be powerful and cunning but so is al-anon, especially the way that you practice it (like a black belt!!)
All I can say is WOW, what an inspiration you are to me this beautiful morning! Hugs, J.
Pipers and I are jumping for joy for both of you! I am so glad that she did not need to go to the hospital. Every time Tim tried to detox at home we always ended up back in the hospital. Thank goodness your wife didn't have to.
You know you can still hug her and tell her you're proud of her without telling her about her drinking. Tell her you love her and are proud of her just for being her. I always told Tim I loved him regardless if he drank or not. I was proud of the man. Addicts beat themselves up enough (just like we do). Maybe just maybe hearing those words would help. I always hoped it would help Tim.
You're right, concentrating on your recovery is the best thing you can do for her recovery as well. Enjoy the sober times. They are so prescious. I hope and pray it will last for her. I am so happy for you both. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I am so glad that she did not need to go to the hospital. Every time Tim tried to detox at home we always ended up back in the hospital. Thank goodness your wife didn't have to.