The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am learning to let go and let God. I did so with the donation situation (see post on open for thoughts, comments and suggestions a few days ago for the whole story). I let it drop with no answer and did not bring it up again to my AH. I also let it go in MY mind, deciding if it came up again, then I could think about it again and make the decision if we could help or not then. I felt at peace with the decision to make no decision. Last night, my AH came home from his meeting and said the lady had an intervention from her HP. She received an anonymous donation which will more than cover the cost of her new roof. So I did all that original fretting, worrying ans stewing for nothing. Well, I guess not really for nothing, because I now have the tools to address this situation if it comes up again at a later date. PS My AH didn't really understand what I was saying but I really feel like it was also an intervention from OUR HP, in that it is now one less stressor between us. Like it took care of ALL of us, not just the lady, or not just me or not just AH. But all of us. Thank you, God!
I am suspicious. I would in NO way give him any money at all.
I too have my credit ruined forever. Almost lost my home and did lose my vehicles! had perfect credit, new pickup a jeep etc. Money in the bank and was almost done with college. I was in my 40's.
A's will lie to get money with any sob story they think we will fall into.
I don't believe "any" AA group would ever take up a collection for another member. It puts others in a weird position if they cannot help or choose not to!! They don't even ask for donations for the group.
Something sounds fishy to me. NO way would I even go there when my own vehicle needed work!!!
Also to me it would be enabling a behavior that to me is wrong. Family first, sounds like YOU are trying to dig out as it is!!!
I have to remind myself that I am here for me and not to help others. If anything I do helps someone else, that's great but it can't be my motivation. It's very dangerous for us al-anons to abandon ourselves & fixate on others.
Choosing to not make a decision, is a powerful decision in itself. I remember in ur post u said ur AH wanted to give money to her, even though u dont have any extra money. That is dangerous. There are always other ways to help. I am leery when anyone mentions money -- we ALL need money & are in difficult times right now. I spent most of my life, denying myself my own good help & throwing it desperately at others, when I was in need of my own attention & care.
You said something interesting - that all that worrying & fretting was a waste of your time & energy. But look at what you learned. You leanred that in spite of your worry & fear, HP came through. This would suggest that next time u get into a similar state, that you can pray, give it to HP & practise letting go of the issue/problem - waiting for guidance from HP (excersizing patience & faith) and being able to detach, focus on self & find that there is another solution u may not have previosuly seen. Letting go of it - surrenderring the problem to wait & see if another solution comes up & being open for a new & different solution - it's a very powerful lesson. And you dont have to be all crazy in the process/meantime.
Keep working it! It's all about progress not perfection.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
hi hort, hey I goofed. I meant to put this comment on your other post!!! Did not even make sense here.
Anyhoo YAY!! We all need reminders that sometimes we really don't have to do a thing. HP is perfect.
Thank you for reminding!! Am soooo glad it was handled in a great showing progress alanon way.
I know for me, I was and am wanting to "help" him, part of my sickies. Even now I have to stop me from wanting to do something nice for him. oh brother....
