The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Get Sober and Stay Sober! If you want it, just do it. I've had enough, how many chances does he think he will get? How many more chances will I give? Not that many more. This is his last chance. He is on a waiting list for a rehab, I am so looking forward to getting myself together. His next chance is 90 days no less. I deserve 90 days to work on my own recovery. I am taking my 90 days....if he leaves rehab this time, he is not welcome back in our home.
That's my plan and he has not been informed of my plan. This is all for me. I am ready for him to gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Be strong for yourself!!! You have a major decision and I hope you can stick to it.
When I read the post from people here that have an active alcholic in their house, I do not know how you guys can stand it. My alcholic is my daughter and thank God, she does not live with us. Believe me, she has tried. I told her "No way are you coming here with your problems". She was mad for several weeks and would not speak to me. Now we are cautiously having conversations.
I pray that your husband will get the help he needs and you get the "peace and quite" you deserve.
__________________
Clara
------------------------------------ What don't kill you, makes you stronger!!!
Do it alaready !! sounds simple doesnt it ? but its not for either of you I know . Take care of your own needs look after yourself you are the only one that can do this . I think * just my opinion* that when and if he goes to treatment , if he trys to leave before its finsihed is the time to tell him your decission about not wanting him to come home again . Just watch your motives , if u are trying to force him into sobriety it won't work , if you truly cannot live with this anymore and are prepared to accept the concequences of that decission then it is right for you . Find and attend meetings now don't wait til he goes for help . It is possible to be happy wether he is drinking or not . Easy does it !!!!! Sincerly
-- Edited by abbyal on Thursday 23rd of April 2009 09:07:07 PM
-- Edited by abbyal on Thursday 23rd of April 2009 09:07:59 PM
Recovering alcoholics like ourselves only have one day at a time. The disease wants him drunk and then dead. He knows that, we all do and in the mean time we either take the chance/choice/opportunity to get our own recovery or we don't. I use to think also that her chances for recovery were coming from me and then I had to admit I am powerless and unmanagable. It was I who had to go...for my own peace of mind and serenity. I couldn't continue to put my life on hold waiting for someone else to be what and who I wanted them to be. I had the ability to do that but not the right. How my life came out was my responsibility. Up to that point I had in marriages along been married to an addict and then an alcoholic addict with another alcoholic relationship in between. What was wrong with me!! I had to go find that out and couldn't wait any longer because I didn't have much life left in me. I'd used myself up alot. I could've died from waiting also.
How good was the justification to wait when my life was on the line. Even while I waited the disease progressed inspite of me and my alcoholic wife. It progressed while I hoped things would get better. It progressed while and inspite of me trying to make things better. It almost took my life and hers, and when I got off of her back...she got into recovery without and not because of or for me or us. Both she and I are grateful for that I think.
Take that "Do it already" and say it into the mirror and then do the next best thing to recover your peace of mind and spirit.
End of last year I wanted to just lie down and die.
The life I had worrying about my Ason had reached, after 4/5 years an intolerable state, burned out I think is the phrase. He was wretched therefore so was I.
Early January I searched for help and found all the fantastic people here at MIP and through their ESH and gentle encouragement, progressed to f2f. Slowly, bit by bit, I am discovering the NEW ME. I won't go back to being that sick person the disease allowed me to become.
I am a slow work in progress....but I am progressing and as jobs go I am grateful for this one.
My son had one failed rehab last year and he was given a choice by us of coming back home (he's always lived with us) and again seeking recovery or if he wanted to drink...stay somewhere else...he chose somewhere else.
Rock bottom for him was reached (I hope) recently and he asked to come home for help and support...he is 3 weeks 'dry' today and I am thankful for today.
It's a day at a time...he's working his programme and I'm working mine.
