The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My birthday is coming up on May 9th. As many of you know any kind of holiday for me is really difficult. I was falling back into my "poor me" mentality so I've decided to take ownership and try to work on doing things for myself. I can't count on anyone to "do" for me. In fact I don't even dare "hope" for that because I find somehow "hope" almost makes me abdicate myself (must be a reenactment in there!).
One thing I really let go of when I was with the ex A was my appearance. I schlepp around in any old thing. I let my entire wardrobe go too. So I'm working on getting rid of the old stuff the worn out stuff and reassembling a working wardrobe.
I can't even thing about the "day" itself yet (its two weeks away after all). I may have to work but I could apply to have an early shift. I think its key to notice how I slip back into wanting someone to "do" for me when I know that is a slippery sliding space to be in. Another example of self sabatage.
Yes lots of awareness in your post and I know what you mean. That slippery slope! I buy or make cupcakes and take them to my al anon group or any al anon group I can find at the time. Its always such a fun little party! Hope it all goes well. I am glad you were born. hugs, J.
I will work on celebrating. One big thing for me is to look better. I don't have to wear my heart on my sleeve anymore. I can project happiness and see if I can make it happen.
