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Well, here I am again but this time with a very sad story. I will make it short as possible. I lost my bro in law on Friday. He was very distraught before he died and took off away from home to basically die. We really don't know exactly what he was thinking when he left. He was actually almost a neighbor of ours we live that close. Anyway, he went hitchhiking down south and never returned. Now we have to go get his ashes down there. His family is very upset needless to say. His family includes my husband his younger brother. I don't think he will drink but I am concerned about his mental health. I am concerned about my health, too. We will be attending meetings as much as possible. It is hard to fit them in with family coming but we will do our best. Anyone who is out there and can relate to a sudden death please respond. If there is anyone out there who could give me some ESH on this issue I would appreciate it. I am hanging in there and trying to live one day at a time. Don't get discouraged out there. I mean it . Life is too short. Makes me want to be grateful that I have a pretty great life. Kathleen
Aloha Kathleen...I am sad with you and support your desire to stay in the peace of mind, spirit and emotions. My HP is real to me...very very real. When I was at that point of loss of someone very special to me the only thing I could think of was to ask my HP to allow me to lay down in the plams of His hands and just rest my spirit and be quiet. There wasn't anything to understand. My spirit was made so tired by the loss. HP didn't refuse my need.
"When I was at that point of loss of someone very special to me the only thing I could think of was to ask my HP to allow me to lay down in the plams of His hands and just rest my spirit and be quiet. There wasn't anything to understand. My spirit was made so tired by the loss. HP didn't refuse my need."
That was one of the most beautiful and comforting things I have ever read. It made me teary eyed.
There are no magic words or ways to get through a loss. I think it's very individual. We do what we need to and find our way. What I do know is that we eventually learn to live with it and somehow come through it. My ES&H is to seek gratefulness, it's always there somewhere..
I lost my Grandmother, my child and my Mom as I knew her (she had a stroke) in 2 months time. Some days opening my eyes just to stare at the wall was the only thing I managed to do. I guess the saying "that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger" has some truth to it. Now, the loss has given me the ability to put things in perspective, sometimes to the point that people think I don't have empathy. It's not that I don't, I just see things very differently. It's just that I think there is enough pain in the world without self inflicted drama.
I spent last week in AZ saying Goodbye to my terminally ill Uncle. I knew when I left I would never see him again. Tonight my Dad called and told me that tomorrow my Mom was going to a nursing home because he can't care for her anymore. Her mind is fine, her body is not.
You know what? I'm not all caught up in how awful it all is. I'm grateful. I already know I can do this. It hurts, but I'm holding on to being grateful I could tell my Uncle how much I love him and how much he has meant to me all my life. I'm grateful I still have my Mom and grateful that my Dad can get some much needed rest. He has been her sole caretaker for 20 yrs.
Good can come from tragedy. I'm sorry for your loss, I believe you and your husband can get through it together. My husband wasn't sober when I went through my losses. You have something to be grateful for already. :)
((((hugs)))) Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Try grief support groups. You need all the support you can get. Grief support is specifically targeted to let out the grief. When my mother died lots of people said very unfortunate things to me. I was really vulnerable then. Take care of yourself. Meetings help I think but I know many many people don't really know how to support grief. The other thing I would recommend is to let go of the craziness of this. Who knows why this man went awol, he just did. There is no knowing in hind sight.
My deepest sympathies on your loss. It's hard when it was sudden and unexpected. My Tim's passing was the same way. There is no way to prepare for it. The only thing that I can tell you almost 9 months later is that you learn eventually not to dwell on the fact that it was so sudden. You realize how short life is and you never know. So you live and love life as hard as you can and as much as you can. Pipers and I will keep you and your family in our prayers tonight and always.
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
