The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Part of my day was taking some "stuff" to the local AA club that they might use in their meetings. It was raining (duh...) still and there was a young fellow sitting in a chair outside in the covered waiting area smoking cigarettes. No eye contact no body language to signal that he was aware someone else was there. I asked him if he was going to the nooners meeting...no response but did look up at me. He wasn't connecting with the people, place and thing situation so I gathered that there was something not going on I could relate to and told him he was at the AA club and a meeting would start at noon with the same response blank stare no verbal contact. He was neatly dressed Hilo style and clean; had a neat hair cut and about 30 or younger. He wasn't drunk...If I know anything, I know drunk. He wasn't under the influence of anything even reality. So I introduced myself and we attempted a not so very easily recognized hand shake and I went back to my truck for one more piece of donation. I looked back and he was kinda, sorta tracing my steps then when back to his chair. "Do you need help?" my response to a hope that there was more there than the shell and I got the same nothing response. I left thinking to myself that he'd be okay; that he'll come around; that someone else would find him and maybe a couple more assurances and headed back into my mission. Here's where I don't outdistance my HP and my HP's will. I got about two blocks down the road and then realized my HP was in the passenger seat of my truck asking, "Since when did you make the decision not to be helpful any longer." HELLO!! I know that voice and I know what my HP is really saying. Respond man, respond. The rest was easy...turn off the road, stop the truck, cell phone and three numbers; 911 and a request for professional help after a short description that will get them there to be used where I could not any further.
After tonights meeting I ask in light of knowing the 12step and Al-Anon Declaration have I fallen into apathy and complacency? Am I returning to normal? That was what I was doing distancing myself from others...I need the wakeup calls that come with a personal touch from my HP. Those are the ones that work and work best and I admit I cannot be of help relying on myself alone. I forgot to ask the question, "Is there something you want for me to do here?" I already know what really led up to the situation. This young man was the instrument for my HP. There is more work to do and I have to be awake to do it. "When anyone, anywhere reaches out for help...let the hand of Al-Anon always be there and let it begin with __ ?
I loved your post. It got me thinking about my HP. A HP who's there for me, but also there to guide me in helping others. For me being a codependant setting out to help others can be my downfall. I am learning through my program that I can set healthy boundaries. I can still reach out to others, but dont need to get totally over involved. This helps me stay healthy, not put myself in any difficult situations and to stay safe.
I think you did the right thing, you noticed him, you did enquire if he was ok. Maybe your HP wanted you to leave and continue on with your day.Maybe your HP wanted you to call 911 so that the young man would get the help he needed, as you say from others who could take it further.
"Is there something you want me to do here?" What an AWESOME question for me to ask and think about as I go about my days and nights. Jerry, you have given me some of the best sentences I know of (and boy, I sure do use 'em alot!). "when in doubt, don't" "I cannot outdistance HP" You just gave me a new one, a new tool- thank you my friend! Hugs, J.
There is a member of this board that responded to a post of mine over a year ago. He simply told me to always "Do the Next Right Thing". It does not supprise me one little bit that the person who told me that practiced what he preached.
Somethings in life stick. Those five words have stuck with me, and made many decisions simple and easy, in Al-Anon, in business, and life in general. So, I'll just say thanks Jerry.
Thanks jerry a new comer is reaching out to me my sponsor said she may ask me to sponsor her as she is using me as a sponor by ringing me ect. I got really scared when my sponor said this I thought can I do it I am not an old timer. But I am further along than the new comer and she makes me realsie I have grown. I will reach out and help do the best I can just listen and give al anon tools not rescue.
