The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Greetings, I've followed a few threads and topics posted. I suppose I wouldn't be on this board unless I wanted to voice my feelings. I've read several posts from people who were affected from Alcoholics and a few from people looking for support to attend a meeting. Recently I've had a friend go to AA and various other support groups for his use of alcohol, marijuana, and cocaine. Neither here nor there, but I've, for a while, questioned my own drinking and have been moderately concerned. Everything I've seen states that you are the only one that can declare that you have a problem with use . I guess that is the problem realistically. To cut to the chase, I will fall in that category of people that believe they are too logical or smart to concede that they have a problem with alcohol. To give some background and to put it all out there. I generally drink most nights a week after work. Most of the time it is by myself online talking to friends and watching TV. The drink of choice is Captain morgan with diet coke and I'm usually knocking down a bit less than a 5th per night when I do drink. It generally equates to about 3/4 of a two liter of diet coke with a fourth of the drink being captain. I've been concerned because it has become a habit or sorts,....that is, I am free after work. Honestly, I just think it is because of boredom. Not that I don't have enough work to do, but realistically, when I get some free time after work, I just want to relax, get some drinks flowing and enjoy myself. The part that makes me question it is that I am ontime for work each day, work weekends often, work late many nights a weeks, and have never had a problem with alcohol interfering with my professional position. I work out 3-4 times a week and am rather educated about bodybuilding and supplementation. Currently, I belive the issue to be that of habit rather than some sort of addiction. Anyway, I felt compelled to voice this on the forum. Although what I am doing isn't healthy and not interfering with my work, its definitely had enough influence for me to seek this out.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease. Many many alcoholics never miss work, work hard, are at the top of the company chain, etc...... they are called Functional Alcoholics. But alcoholism is a progressive disease. You could be my husband the way you describe yourself right now. And over the years I've seen the "casual drinking cause I'm bored" turn into the "can't stop drinking", which of course comes along with beginning to have job problems, breakdown of health, breakdown of relationships. I wonder why you posted here rather than over on the AA board, where others who have been where you are now, could relate and share with you? Not that posting here is wrong, we're always glad to hear from the other side too, plus you have a friend attending AA, which qualifies you for our program also. I'd just hate to see you kid yourself and try to justify things. If you think you might have a problem, be good to yourself and really look into it. I honestly don't think you need any of us to tell you what you already know yourself.
Wishing the best for ya!
Kis
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Let your light shine in the darkness. "I can't just bring my mind to meetings...I must also bring my heart."
I agree with Kis and TT, if you are concerned enough to ask, it is worth looking into further. There is no "cut-off" amount that makes you an alcoholic or not, but coming from the medical profession the amount you say you are drinking is considered harmful.
Perhaps you might be interested in attending a face-to-face (f2f) AA meeting, you don't have to speak at all, just sit back and listen (what better excuse to get you away from your computer for a few hours in the evening).
I used to think alcoholism was flat out drunk; skid row, type of thing. A little knowledge taught me there are different types of alcholics. It can be a road, a path. There are people who are not at their bottom, or aren't so bad, but are alcoholics. In time, if they're a true alcoholic, it WILL get worse, it will progress. If they're at the stage where they find it a bit hard to control, later it will be impossible to control. So, sometimes it's not a black or white situation, but more of the road to alcoholism.
The meetings help you as the person decide where you belong, if it's a potential problem, or a definite problem. Also "The Big Book" is a good book too!
I would suggest going to some meetings, you don't have to declare that you're an alcoholic. You can just say nothing, or tell them you don't know what you think!
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Come back when you need us, come back, we need you.
Your friend, ~De Anna~ 8-D
One thing that our program does is teach us to listen to our own hearts, try to find our what we really feel and think about things. Many of us have spent so much of our lives pleasing others that we don't even know anymore what WE think or want. On that note, we can't tell you if you are an alcoholic. Even AA can't tell you that. You can spend some times at alanon meetings, and on this and other boards, and at AA meetings and boards, and see if anything people say resonates with you. If any of these programs are right for you, you will know because things said will start you thinking and feeling about your own situation. I hope you will find the place where you feel at home.
It is my observation that alcohol just like any other addiction becomes a problem when it interfers with the relationships or health in a persons life... From what I can tell both of people I have known with addictions, as well as with myself with being codependent that the bottom line is if a person cannot emotionally, physically, or mentally cope with situations in their life and/or interact with other individuals in a way that contributes to success in all realms of their life then there is a problem. Of course, a person could be a hermit and enjoy living that life and not be affected by anyone or anything around them, nor choose to be involved with anyone or anything around them and stay to themselves, living their peaceful life that way. If that is the case and their choice, then that is their choice and what is right for them. That's when perhaps it becomes time for people around them who despite how much might love them, need to step back, away from the relationship and let that person be and focus on healing ourselves.
However, if the addictions affect a persons peace within, or ability to interact and respect others then it becomes a problem because those individual internal conflicts start projecting outwards into other areas of a persons life... Often times, coming out in other ways or behaviors that cause negative reactions to circumstances or people around them. Even when it has nothing to do personally with them.
This is just my perception of the effects of addiction in general. To simplify my perception, basically ANYTHING that takes away from a persons peace within and controls their happiness in creating a dependency on something or someone else to replace true happiness or peace is a problem and should be addressed to find out what the underlying problem is within themselves.
