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sapped my Strength of late, but still hanging on to Hope by my fingernails.
ALCOHOLISM is an EXPERIENCE of the last six years that has taken me to my knees....
My strength finally departed a few weeks ago...... after weeks of cries for help from my Ason, with him rejecting suggestions (all which had the words recovery, sobriety, etc etc,) the circle of madness was beginning again..... S0..... husb & I just took our passports, jumped on a plane and I suppose basically ran away from the madness for a while. We landed in Spain and stayed for 3 weeks, did a lot of mountain walking so slept because we were exhausted.
Before we 'ran off' our son was waiting to get back to rehab, he weighs 7 stones (can't do the conversion, sorry) and is 5'9''..he's sold all his belongings, has been stealing alcohol from shops, been fined for drunk and disorderley, been eating (when he did manage to eat) food from bins (garbage), been mugged and his benefit money stolen on numerous occasions....I could go on... but won't.
We phoned him the day before we came home, and he too was on his knees by then, literally, no strength left to stand for any length of time. Said he wanted recovery .....could he come home and have our support.
We agreed he could come home, but he had to sober up 1st....no way was he coming home intoxicated, we've been down THAT ROAD before. A friend of his, in recovery, took him in to his home, showered him, fed him and spent 2 days getting him sober (cold turkey) and we took him home last Monday.
Husb and I sat 3 days and nights (taking turns to try and get some sleep) with him as he went through the terrifying madness of the DT's, day 1 he took a seizure, day 2 he tried to jump out windows, day 3 was in complete delirium... we eventually had to knock him out with diazepam, and he slept for 20 hours.
Saturday we found a half bottle of gin...unopened, under his bed. (during the delirium we know at some stage he removed money from an Easter card we had received, and the people at the local shop told husb our son had bought gin) We confronted him...showed him the video clips we took during his 3 days of delirium...that scared the you know what out of him
Today (just for today) he is sober, he has been put on Baclofen by his Dr ( and massive amounts of vitamins etc) and has put 5lbs in weight on since last week. There's an AA meeting tomorrow I hope he wants to go, but that's for him.
I have my Wednesday f2f and i need to be there for sure!
Taking it one day at a time.
Today I am calm, using my alanon tools, looking after me. Boundaries are set and I won't be taking any stoosh (Scottish for lies or mucking around)
I don't know if what we've done is right or wrong, but we're doing our best with what we know at the moment.
Sorry, this turned out longer than expected, if you've read, thank you and please keep us in your thoughts we need lots of your ES&H
I don't have any children that are A's, but I know quite a few. And like you said towards the end taking it one day at a time is best. It's hard for me sometimes, but when I don't take it one day at a time it's even harder.
I'm pretty new here, but I do have a question. Can he go to a rehab place of some sort or detox center while he is working on sobering up?
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"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." Will Rogers
In my experience there is no recovery without the 12 steps & brutal honesty. It does sound like u got through the worst of it & with the doctor now aware & involved. Taping him and confronting him with that realtiy check (gosh I wish I'd done this w/ my exAH) sounds like it worked well.
I hope he will do what it takes to get sobriety in his life. Remember to focus on you & your program. I know there is only so much you can do for him, he has to get involved & get it for himself. Sticking to your boundaires is the best thing you can do, it may be difficult but they will respect the fact you wont tolerate being manipulated anymore.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
You and your husband have been loving and did what was the best you could do for the moment. Is that not HP's will. I have heard God described as love. If I read you right...You and your husband we being Godly. There are not guarantees that what you did will support your son getting into and staying sober. God doesn't ever get a guarantee either. I know I've made promises to my HP in the past and didn't follow thru. You did your part and now another letting go. Good program!!
Thanks for your honest share. I am so sorry that your son is so ill. You and your husband certainly did show a great deal of love for your son by supportimg him thru an extremely difficult detox in your home.
I admire your courage. I believe that filming the terrible ordeal was a stroke of Genius on your part. I am sure it was a huge wake-up call for your son to see how serious this disease really is. I pray that a rehab spot opens up soon so that he can be cared for in a recovering community and you and your husband can rest.
Your trip to Spain sounds like a perfect escape. I am glad you took care of yourself.
