The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ex got a cell phone and we have been talking and texting. It has been friendly and polite although I know he wants me back and I'm not interested in going down that road again not to mention I'm very happy with someone else now. I'm hoping we can be "friends" and he can see the kids and maintain his sobriety. I hope I'm not fooling myself and getting sucked in by his charm. I have to remember to be on my guard and make sure I don't let my defenses down too much around him. I don't want to open myself up now to something I'll be sorry for later. He did manage to squeeze out a child support payment this month and I'm hopeful that will keep coming. He appears to be doing well, living in an oxford house, working, going to meetings and staying out of jail - so far so good... I am afraid of getting to the point of expecting normalcy from him and then wham it's back to the chaos. I just have to be very careful that I don't get sucked in if it does happen and I don't become reliant on him to do what he says he will.
I think he feels guilty so he doesn't know how to express to you that he's sorry. Interestingly, the best way for him to do that is through the steps. Hopefully, he'll do that.
Good for you for moving on. Keep your focus on you & the positive steps you are all taking. Remember not to take anything for granted & stay present in today & here & now. Maintaining healthy boundaries ought to ensure that you don't get sucked back in but know if it does happen, you have the tools to disengage, remain detached & get back to your own program.
Sounds really positive, good for you, keep working it!
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
I talk to my exhusband quite frequently and I have to be careful that he doesn't suck me back into old ways of thinking. His problem isn't alcohol, his addiction is pornography, particularly child porn. I have our daughter on supervised visitation. Husband says that he hasn't visited a child porn site since the first incident happened. I can't believe him anymore than I can believe an alcoholic won't drink again, and their promises.
I have remarried and my husband now blames all our problems on my ex-husband and the fact that I talk to him. He is very insecure in our relationship. I have tried to stick to a strict schedule of when ex-husband talks to daughter and having the supervised (by police) visit is very helpful too.
I just get sucked in sometimes to thinking that he is ok again, that he didn't do the horrible things he did. He didn't abuse our daughter, but just thinking that he looked at pictures turns my stomach. And to think this all started with an A dad that abused his son sexually and chose to deal with it by having pervert tendencies himself. The disease of alcoholism effects us in so many different ways.
Keep up your boundaries and Keep working your program. Java
Well I guess he is making some of the criteria for your relating to him. I think that Toby Rice Drew has some sage advice for relating to anyone in early sobriety. Have you read it? I think she is a better judge than any of us.
