The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So my ex ah (now boyfriend) and I went to visit our son in Juvie Sunday. He seems to finally be adjusting. Granted he hates it in there but is adjusting to the fact that he is stuck in there until May 5 and he had best just deal with it. He is still craving McDonalds of all things and has requested we make a stop by there on the way home.
He is still battling his anger issues. I pray that the counselor can help him work on that. And he is seeing a drug & alcohol counselor too. So maybe when he gets out, he will be able to make better life decisions.....like go to school and have a better attitude. Boy oh boy do I pray for things to go smoother at home with him.
As far as my ex-ah (now boyfriend), he has been in the worst moode for 2 weeks and I had been worried that he had gone back to using. Whether or not he had a rough weekend a couple of weekends ago or not, I do not know. But his mood finally picked up Sunday and he was back to his normal self. And that is how I like him. I don't handle the depressed, down on myself, life sucks kind of attitude that he gets sometimes. I would rather him just stay away and work it out while he is feeling that way. That may not be very supportive.....but why should my daughter and I have to suffer through his fould moods when we don't have to? We live separately and that is a luxury of that set-up.
I don't have a child in juvie, so I can't relate to that issue, but I sure do feel for you and your son. I know that it is a one day at a time deal and to watch your expectations when he gets out, as that is just an al-anon standard. As far as being seperated from your ah (now boyfriend), I can relate to that issue. I am seperated from my ah and we live in seperate places. He is not drinking at present, but doesn't attend AA meetings and is very much in the dry drunk syndrome. I like him a lot better since we seperated and we are able to go out on dates and enjoy one another's company so much better now than before. But if he gets into one of his dry drunk rages, like he did the other day when my daughter didn't realize the freezer had meat in it and unplugged it and the meat went bad, I had to set some boundaries and ask him to leave. He imposed that she should clean out the freezer, which I didn't have a problem with since she caused the mess, but while she was cleaning it out she was holding her nose (it stunk to high heaven) and he started laughing at her and she ran to her room and closed the door.
I asked him politely to leave that disaplining my daughter (it's not his child) was my resposibility and I had to handle it. I also told him I didn't think it was kind of him to laugh at her in that way. He left, my daughter and I finished cleaning out the freezer and more hatred is built up between her stepdad and her. It's a sad thing to see that he tries to 'control' everything and ends up losing everything. In the end he may lose me too if his controling gets too out of control. My boundaries won't stand for it anymore.
thanks for letting me share with you. Take what you like and leave the rest.
