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Six of my husband's friends flew in from out of town to confront him about his drinking this morning. It only took a few minutes, but they managed to do what we haven't the past 3 days - and that was to get himself into rehab.
So I helped check him in and it was quite a long process - the whole thing took about 2 or 3 hours. He is in detox now for 5 to 7 days and then after that they will assess whether or not he should continue with In-Patient or Out-Patient treatment.
I know there are no guarantees, but at least he's there NOW. I'm so tired and I'm just looking forward to hopefully a good night's sleep tonight.
His brother and his friends have already taken off, so the only ones here are my son, my sister-in-law, and me. She's staying until Tuesday to give me a hand (help take care of my son so I can go to Al-Anon meetings and some other meetings at the rehab).
He's there for five to seven days, so please, take care of yourself now. First things first: SLEEP if you can.
I remember the first time my AH was in detox - I washed the all the bedding, sprayed Febreze all over the mattress and once it was made up again, slept like I hadn't in years.
N8SMOM beat me to the punchline and Linda's reply gave me a chuckle!
I'M THERE WITH BOTH OF YOU!
I just emailed this to a friend, so here's my story for today... +++++++++++ At midnight, I've been home for less than an hour. Last night I told AH again how he is killing himself, and that if that is his plan that I couldn't stop him, and that it would be his choice, etc etc. I slept on the couch for the 1st time ever. In the evening I had called his doctor and said that I was very concerned for his health, and that we had to speak today. I called an attorney (concerned about forcing him into rehab if necessary), and spoke to my dr. brother wanting medical advice mostly about forced rehab. I was so distraught by the end of the night, when I looked at the strewn bedsheets, I said f-it and got an extra blanket and my pillow and headed for the couch. I found an old empty wine bottle in the blanket trunk :)
In the AM, AH said that he panicked when I wasn't in bed in the middle of the night, and I heard him looking for me. I feigned sleep, and apparently he never saw me on the living room couch, because he checked the garage for my car :)
He also agreed that he needed medical intervention, and that he needed an live-in rehab program.
By the middle of the day I talked to everyone that I left messages for, and most especially AH's PCP (Dr. Patrick). We talked for quite a while, and we both learned how AH had skipped 2 appts last week and lied about it. Short story is, he offered to talk to AH, and I said thanks! When I called AH to tell him that Patrick wanted to talk to him, he agreed to talk to him, and then told Patrick that he knew he needed medical intervention, and agreed to go into the hosp. for detox, and then rehab (details TBD). In the course of my conversation w/Patrick, he told me that if things were as bad as I described, then AH really shouldn't wait until Mon, he needed to go in NOW. So he did. I think the clincher for all was when I told him that I was able to confirm today that AH is drinking Listerine (21% alc.) when he can't get to the liquor store for wine...
I felt very bad about leaving AH in the ER waiting for a room - Patrick had at least called ahead, and told them to admit for detox (they're not an 'official' detox center) - but waiting for a room was going to take a while (He's still in the hallway in the ER - I just called, since 7 pm). But once they gave him his adavan, he told me to go and take care of the pets, and I did. I know (the dr clearly explained) how AH will feel like crap for the next 72 hrs, and they will try to move him directly into rehab next week.
I'm home alone now for a while. It's very quiet here. All 5 of us (incl 2 cats and 2 dogs) are stressed. But I don't really fell too bad, just sad. +++++++++++++
And I'm not tired, actually relieved and a little rejuvenated. Sad when I think of him lying on a stretcher in the hallway in the ER. But the drinking was his choice, his bed, so now he lies in it.
He will be a nasty bear tomorrow, but I will visit and leave. and probably visit again in the PM. And then leave :)
I feel good. He is not likely to be able to come home bec they want him to go directly into residential rehab for 7 days? maybe more. I have no more burden, except that the dogs will have been locked up all day when I get home. The stress is gone. I feel good. (and a little sad).
Deserve More - I'm so glad to hear your AH is getting help too at the moment and that you are stress free.
As for me, I did not sleep well last night. My sister-in-law and I called it a night around 10:00. I woke up shortly after 2:00 with my mind racing and couldn't fall back to sleep, so I took a Xanax. I don't think it worked all that well because I ended up rolling around the rest of the night. I may have dozed off here and there, but it definitely wasn't a restful night's sleep.
I think I'll take Linda's advice and wash my bedding today.
When my hubby went to rehab it took me about 3 days for me to detox from him. Get some soup, fresh veggies and fruit and take care of yourself. Sincerely, Tonya
I'm glad he's in detox. Hopefully he will go into rehab. Detox only gets you sober, rehab is where the real work begins. Having said that, I'm glad you are getting to your meetings. The dynamics of a sober marriage vs. an active one are very different. (I found that out a bit later than I would have liked.) I found myself clinging to my program more when he was sober than when he was drunk. I wish you both well on your journeys of recovery. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
