The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AH as you probably know, left me In January, left his business, his children who didnt live with us, but whom we saw every other weekend, and his whole life and went to the west indies, a geographical cure is what i believe its called, getting away from the problem. He told me he didnt love me as a husband should love a wife and that was that. Two days ago, I had a total of 5 non phone calls. I say that because he didnt say anything and the last two calls, which came in quick succession, I didnt answer and wasnt in for one of them. All I got was someone coughing and very strangely, I knew it was him, so did my friend, I never realised that someones cough is as easy to identify as their voice and it was definitely my AH. The call I missed would only have been 8 in the morning, his time and the rest lunchtime. If he tried to speak i could not hear him, but if i could hear his cough, surely I would have heard him speak. Is this sort of wierd behaviour what I should expect, I just wouldnt expect him to make such strange calls, if he wanted to speak to me, surely he just would! He had no trouble speaking to me when he was briefly back in this country, patronisingly nice is how I would put it. Can anyone shed any light on this..Im pretty sure he wouldnt expect me to know it was him as he didnt speak..but why so many calls, oh im confused and of course, i wondered if he was ok.My friend who knows him well said it was typical of what to expect from him, but for me it just didnt make sense. Help...
There's no use trying to make sense of anything the A does. Heck, he could have been "pocket dialing" you and was not aware that the call was even made. I've been the recipient of those kinds of calls on more than one occasion :) - about all you can do is just hang up.
My AH has been at the lake all week - I've heard from him just a couple of times and it's been kind of nice. Of course, I missed his call yesterday morning, then obsessed about it all day wondering if he was going to come home like he said he was (he didn't) or what exactly his plans were. My time and emotional energy could have been better spent - I was already drained as it was after meeting with a lawyer yesterday morning. I'm just glad I was able to come here and to the chat room to dispel some of my grief and anxiety.
I'm glad you are coming here too - it's a far more productive use of your time and energy to get things off your mind here than sit and stew over it.
Try to do something nice for you. I know - this is way easier said than done a lot of times.... :)
Nothing about a practicing alcoholic make sence , but i know just when u think u can get your life back on track they show up again , thier kinda like boomerangs they just keep commin back . I hope your attending meetings for yourself your going to need support from people who have been where your at . Nothing u say or do will change him , he will go where he needs to go.
