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OK... So if you have been keeping up or checking in on my story, it is along one, and I will try to make the explanation a short one... Afather past, i am responsible for his affairs, gave his home to my Abrother, who did not make it happen and left me with More debt then I ever dreamed of...
Sooo Last post stated that I got a cert. letter stating the Trailor had to be moved by May 1st, well now after speaking with "reg. of wills" they tell me I need to get a lawyer, and have a letter typed up that states, if they would like to "KEEP" the trailor on there lot, (I Give it to them) then they pay for repairs, and all fixes to the place... They are saying that I have to pay for the repairs to busted pipes "IN THEIR GROUND", which I have no intention of doing, since when the water company had called and spoke to "them" about the water spike, they just said "Yeah There was to be a leak" and NEVER SHUT IT OFF... The Water is in their name... NOT MY FATHERS... I Paid the $658.00 Bill last month... And if they would have had the water shut off when the problem was found, they could have saved me close too $400... So Now it is the next step...
It is like I just tryed to explain to my mom... With this EVERYDAY sh*t.. It is like my Afather dying EVERY FRICK'N DAY... I mean really.. When can I just be DONE WITH IT... When can I get up in the morning and just say... "Yep Dad is gone, now I have to get on with MY LIFE"... I know it will come but dang-it... It has been almost 5 monts since he past, I can't greive because I am ALWAYS in the middle of some crap with this Estate, that if you ask me could burn to the ground and save me some hassle... My Father had NOTHING but the trailer that is falling apart... However they could benifit having it for they could find a "Renter" to move in and pay for the dang thing... But if you new the people I am dealing with it would be better explained the CrAP that they are giving me.. The Land Owners, Live off of thier DADDY'S Money... Not one of them know what it is like to WORK for what you have and or desirve, so it was all dropped in their lap when their dad past as a gift... Well they can have my frick'n "GIFT" for I just want all of this crap out of my life...
I walk around Resenting my Afather for leaving this much "Sh*t" to deal with, I am angry at him on a daily basis, and he is DEAD... How Messed up is that ? I am so lost right now, I don't think a meeting would even scratch the surface of the Hell I have been thru these last couple days-HOURS...
I have been pray'n for strength, but honestly I don't think that I even want it... I just want my life back... And to be able to greive my Afather instead of Loath him... I'm Up I'm Down, and I don't do so good Down... I have always been able to jump in and get stuff done, and with the state telling me ... NO WAIT we haven't screwed you over enough yet... But hang on just a little bit longer... Then the Landlords first line in the letter is : We would like to offer our condolences on the passing of your father.... and then in the same breathe... Say Bend over we are not done with you yet...I am just so sick and pissed, and angry I could spit bullets...
Thanks for letting me Vent... I am grasping at straws and frankly have lost my grip!!!
Jozie
-- Edited by Jozie on Monday 6th of April 2009 10:41:04 AM
Well first off-go back in and edit your post. Moderators will delete it cause you cursed-like that is all is to worry about in this world....but anyway. Secondly BREATHE....I have very little ESH to offer you right now as I am on the insane wagon here myself, but I know that this will pass.....it has too.......God doesn't hate me/us so it will pass. There are going to be summer days coming soon, and sunshine and peace and clarity.....We just have to believe and hold tight.......Alcoholism is one HECK of a ride!!!
(((((JOZIE)))))
__________________
Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
Ohhh... And lets not forget that I just desided last Wens. that i didn't need to be takin my Meds anymore, for I "Got This"... Yeah... I got it all right...
I am try'n Shelly, And I am hear for you as well...Oh course be prepared for water works for I can not shut them off.. :)
All & To All: I get to go tonight... To see his children... He will be watching... And give them their Easter stuff since they are leaving town in 2 days for 2 weeks... Now I have a quote above my desk from Maxine :) it reads.... (:Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a Man. Love to forgive him & Patience, For his moods... Because Lord, If I pray for Strength... I May Just Beat Him to Death.... :) Now I ask ya... Do I have the strength, to face him, in front of his children, in front of my Mother, and NOT Bust him in the face... I mean Really... BEFORE this program... I would have DONE Busted him in the face... For Pure Self Gradification... NOW NO it didn't change HIM per say... BUT I felt 110% better to have it out of the way.... So I guess we will have to see what stupidness flows from his lips, to determine just what strength I have...I will try to remember it is a sickness... But as we all know... IT ISN'T MINE.... I'm just sick in tired of if being proceved that way...
Thanks and Sorry... All in one... Tough Day For Sure... Prayers would be great... Jozie
Hi Jozie, I hear your anger and frustration with the system. It and the disease of alcoholism can push us to the edge especially when you are grieving.
Please try to be gentle with yourself. It is Ok to be angry and frustrated and I am glad you can come here and vent. I really know how you feel I had the same experience with my son''s estate.
Every State has different laws so I will just explain my experience with dealing with my son's estate. He had no will, no wife or children so as his only surviving parent I was the administrator of his estate.
He had no insurance and owned a 2 year old truck outright, and 7 year old car outright and had at least 20,000.00 in credit card and IRS taxes outstanding.
The lawyer I saw (No Charge) explained that I should evaluate the value of his possessions: 15,000.00. Get a letter from the State confirming that I was the administrator and then:
Deduct the cost of medical and funeral expenses from the sale of the possessions That came to $10,000.00 and then write to each creditor with a copy of the death certificate explaining the estate had no money and the bills would not be paid.
This worked completely. Even the IRS accepted the letter and sent condolances .
If there is no money in the estate, the administrator can not and should not pay any of the outstanding bills.
The one problem I see is the trailor. If you cannot sell it or leave it where it is as a donation to the place where it is, then you must dispose of it. If you knew anyone with a tow truck they could probably hawl it to a dump or as you said just knock it down and haul it away.
Things have not changed so much from last week just a little more legal hooops to jump thru.
Check with your State Estate Administration Office and I am sure they will be very helpful.
I know it is just one more hurdle whrn you just want this to be over but just try to walk thru this one moment at a time.
Yes I did have the estate "Per say" it evaluated, an appraiser came out and said the worth of the Trailer... IN WHOLE was $500... Sooo other then that... There is a Fridge, Box Freezer, and an Achient Washer & Dryer... HE HAD NOTHING...So I may make $1000. bucks, but I am taking those things out, and if I have to using the sale of them to get my father a head stone... "Or at least that is my plan" My father also had No Insurance, (5) Kids, His debts we small because he never wanted anything, wouldn't get credit cards because you would have to write INFO on the paper, that he didn't like to fill out, so I guess that was a plus for me... He did have back child support, He owed, but since he past, I was able to get the minor child 'then 16' Social Security till he is 18 which made me feel pretty good since Dad NEVER paid his mom anything...My father never married his mom so it was more HOOPS to jump thru as well, but it was for a good cause and they worked with me right away...His medical expensese were low do to the fact that he just became eligable for Medical Card once my Aunt Drug him to the doctor, and he was to then get disability because of his life long use of alcohol and smokes... He has COPD along with the liver prob. and asthma... So the medical bills the card paid for...
I guess my frustration is more from the fact that he HAD NOTHING... So why is this so dificult... He had no Car, No Insurance of ANYKIND, No Bills but Water & Electric, because he wouldn't spend him money on cable, and he didn't need a phone because his mom paided for his cell phone...
I am slowly regaining pieces of self... but it isn't coming near as quick and it is all coming to a head, and I don't know if I fear the out come, the closing, the finish of it, or what... I told my Husband today... That I could HONESTLY Pack up my Boy, Him My Dogs and get out of dodge without batting an eye.. I know Running is not the answer, but right now... I don't want my son to have to live or be apart of such a Screwed up family... I would rather Move on and cut my losses... I hate that feeling.. I feel Defeated and wore out, and I don't know why... I have always been one to bounce back with avenjence, and for some reason I feel stuck, and ticked...
I think that is it... I FEEL... I just don't want to FEEL anything but Freed from this Nightmare...
Sorry for going on... Just need it out of my head...
You have done well and covered all the bases. You are a smart efficient women. I understand the anxiety regarding the "end" You had hope that the trailor could help your brother and his family and now once again, those hope have been dashed.
It would have been a good solution to the trailor issue and everyone could have benefited. This disease is a destroyer of hopes and dreams.
Please be gentle with yourself as you go thru this. Maybe pulling back from all the family issues and taking care of yourself and your family is just what you need during this time. You do need to grieve and your son needs a healthy roles models.
Please just keep showing up and venting here as often as posssible.
-- Edited by hotrod on Monday 6th of April 2009 12:54:33 PM
when the ex A was homeless I found him a trailer and thought that was a godsend. This turned into a nightmare when the landlords threw every trick in the book at me and eventually at him. This is very very tedious.
I know it is also very very expensive to have a trailer moved. So I do understand the double bind. Personally I've also known through the landlord who inherited the apartment I lived in with the exA estates can take a long long time to settle. Some people go for years with dealing with it. That landlord went a good 3 years. If the estate hadn't gone on for 3 years there is no doubt he would have got rid of me and the ex A long before. When the estate finally settled he threw us out very quickly.
Be patient. I know what it is to live with deep resentment. I also know that I've been ripped off more than once.
Consider your options. If the A doesn't want the trailer, consider another renter to pay some of your expenses till you get a foothold on whatever is left of the estate.
