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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Upset with myself
Post Info TOPIC: Upset with myself
Holly09


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Upset with myself
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Yesterday my A boyfriend was drinking (usual for Sunday) things were have been fine lately because I just ignore him and go about my business when he is drinking.  Things were fine yesterday too he was cooking steak tips on the grill and had said they were done but did not return back in with them so because when he is drinking and cooking on the grill he doesnt follow through and I end up going out and hunting the food down (sounds stupid right) I went out the back door and said to him "I thought you said it was done" and I got the look.....and then he said "well there not"  so I just turned around and went back inside.  About 30 seconds later he came in with the steak and put them on the counter so I say " I thought  they weren't done" and he rudely says "they're not!"  and walks out.  So irritated I take them back out and on my way say to him all I did was say I thought they were done so why do you have an attitude and he starts in.  The first thought in my mind was I should have just kept my mouth shut!  But I didn't so he pushed all my buttons and then of course it was me with the attitude and I actually screamed shut up to him because he wouldn't let me say anything!  After I went in he came in and just stood in the doorway and watched me and the kids, I don't know if he was looking for me to appoligize or what but I didn't speak to him unless he spoke to me the rest of the night.  I am dissapointed in myself for putting myself in that position and reacting to his idiotic behavior!  Will I ever learn?  I'm going to the gym today and burn some frustration!  Holly

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You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.
blender_girl


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((holly)) Don't beat yourself up. I have found myself in EXACTLY the same scenario that you described on more than one (ok, about a million :) ) occasions. Most recently about 4 days ago - only for me it was hamburgers and I didn't say anything just went and retrieved them from the grill and proceeded to feed myself and my child.

The very fact that you know he's pushing your buttons is progress. Ripping off those blinders can be painful.

As Diva said earlier today on a different post "What's been said has been said". Pick yourself up and move on. Easier said than done, I know LOL.

Hang in there sweetie, you are not alone.

hugs,

bg

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maresie


~*Service Worker*~

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No one said you have to be a saint.
Anyone would be fed up with this childish behavior.

Have you read Getting them Sober they have a lot of primers for this kind of stuff there.

Maresie.

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maresie
RLC


~*Service Worker*~

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Hello Holly,

I'm the cook at our house. One day last week around 5:30 P.M. I got home from my business. Started preparing to cook. Ten minutes later AW comes home. All I need to know is if she has time to eat before she has to leave for her AA meeting. Simple---Right. NOT.

Question: Do you have time to eat before your meeting? You see I need to know if I need to cook for me or the both of us.

Answer: I have been gone all day.

Question: You have, well are you going to have time to eat before your meeting? ( You see I only need an answer)

Answer: Why do you always make something so big out of nothing, I told you I had been gone all day, you know I am hungry.

So, Holly at that point I took off my "Al-Anon Shoes", as I like to say. You see I still do not have an answer to my original question.

My Last Question after I had taken my Al-Anon shoes off: ( Knowing what reaction I was going to get) Honey, I just asked a simple question, are you going to have time to eat or not.

Answer: How many times do I have to tell you, I told you I haven't eaten all day. Why do you always want to start something.

With that I put my Al-Anon Shoes back on, detached, and started cooking for two people, but before I had finished cooking (in silence I might add ) she decided she would go to her meeting early, and eat when she got back.

P.S. I enjoyed my Cheesebuger, bake beans, and french fries while I read the paper. Silence Is Golden.

If it wasn't so sad it would be funny. I'm not like Bender Girl, I haven't done it a million times, only several hundred thousand.

Give yourself a "HUG", and join the "CLUB"

RLC



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Holly09


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Posts: 88
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Thanks everyone, it's nice to read about others situations and how they handle it and move on.  The rest of that night I only spoke when spoken to and the next day I can say was terrific and we enjoyed some make up time wink the kind without the spoken apologies.  Today is another new daysmile Holly

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You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.
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