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Ok... Sooo... The soga comtinues but I have found the silver lining... Or so I hope...
Today. Got up read my "dailys" got to cleaning my house, and thought I would sit down my my neice some curtains..Well I got the 1st line o stitches done, when the mail lady, comes up and needs me to sign a "certified" letter...
Well it was a letter telling me that I have till May 1st to drag my Afather (deceased) trailor out.. Well at first I went out side, had me a moment of tears on my porch, and then came back in the house, and decided... HOW-A-LU-YA...So I came in and called my Abrother and left this message on his phone. "Hey lt. Brother, just wanted to call and let ya know that you have till Apr. 15th to get what ever you want out of the trailor, because I got a letter and it has to be out by the end of the month, Because YOU did not pay the rent for two months (TOTAL $ 232.00 for BOTH Months(he only had to pay for the lot rent, trailor I gave him)..Now he sat in the bar about 5-7 days a week, but he couldn't come up with the cash for the rent.. Because well I don't know... He doesn't have a car, a license, a house to live in, electric bills, water bills, Nothing ... He HAS NO BILLS... NONE... But back to my story...
So after this, the husband and I went up, accessed what we would have to do, picked up a few things, it is going to be alot of work getting everything of dads out of there, but I think I am just going to have someone come with a front loader.... Knock'r to the ground, and haul it off to the land fill... NO MORE waiting till June 1st.. My Prayers have been answered it has to be done by May 1st... So I am going to have to get buzy... I do have to pay all the back lot rent thru may, I have to pay to have plumber come in and fix the pipes that "My Abrother" was to fix, I have to pay for all hauling, loading and renting... But ya know what... It ownes me NO MORE... Now I own it, and it is get'n out of my life..
I did the best if Could, my Abrother now has no one to blaim but himself... I paid ALL the bills up, from Nov, thru Feb... And gave him 3 months to get money put back, to take over the bills... HE "Couldn't/Wouldn't do his part...
I guess the big thing that has me unnerved right now, is the fact that Easter Is Next Week, His G/f is taking his children to Fl. for 2 weeks, and they just got evicted from their home this month, so who knows if they will even come back at all, and that trailor really would have been of good use... BUT I now have to look him in the eye across the table of my Mothers house this Easter Day and try not to choke the living crap out of him...That will be the toll tail challenge right there... Making it thru Easter "For My Mother"... I know I can, but we will have to see what happens and what stupidness flows from his drunk'n words...
I don't know... I am releaved, I am Stressed, I am Angry, I am Strong, I am emotional, I am numb, I am OverWhelmed, I am frustrated, I am Joyful, I am in Shock...I am in so many places right now I just don't know... Lookin for my thread to hold on to... :) dig'n deep, and I guess... Get'n Buzy... No other options... Maybe that i a good thing...
And if ya took the time to read all this... I hope your have the time to drop me a line and give me your thoughts, anyone been close to this nightmare... I just learned yet another lesson about my Abrother... He truly hasn't found his bottom if that is at all possible, I'm guess his bottom is in the ground... Sad but guess I have to except that too.. His choice not mine....
Thanks for lettin me share... Love & Prayers Jozie
If I could work these 'emoticons' I'd build you a fanfare....
Don't worry about Easter, or the what ifs and what fors.... the past or the future....re-read your own post to see where you are....a thousand well dones to you....your journey is an inspiration to me....thank you for sharing.
(((((Sis))))) Sounds to me like your prayers have definitely been answered today. I can understand all to well the overflowing of so many emotions at once, and in time, I am told, they will level back out and things will continue as they were meant to be. I am reminding myself minute to minute today, as I can not seem to get out of bed or this depression that has found me, that I am right where I am supposed to be....so just feel it, and move through it. I know you love the kids, and it would have been nice to know they had that roof over their heads, but you have to accept that is just not the way that their HP wants things to roll, hard to do I know. Please take care of you....and hang in there......you are nearing the end of this situation and then you can enjoy your summer as it was meant to be......
Love ya~ shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
Well, let us think about what a glorious day May 2 will be! It does take some creative thinking sometimes to realize our prayers have been answered. HP so often does it in a way we cannot fathom, and certainly wouldn't choose. And, yes your brother dug this pit, but don't be surprised if he still finds a way to blame you.
I have an A brother too. My saving graces have been this program, and the fact that he is in another state. I feel guilty sometimes in that I do not keep communication with him, but there is nothing to say, only craziness to swirl. I know it would be incredibly difficult if he lived close by. I can imagine what you are going through. My bro has 5 kids, and thank God my sis-in-law has worked hard to hold it all together. He was such a great man, husband, dad.... Man, I hate this disease!
Hang in there and keep working on moving forward. You're doing good.
Blessings, Lou
-- Edited by Loupiness on Saturday 4th of April 2009 07:06:48 PM
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
Wow, you do have a full plate before you. I am so sorry that your brother has dumped all of this in your lap. They are extremely good at this. As one of the previous post said, on May 2, it will be finished!!! Good luck on that.
As for facing him across the table at Easter, just say a prayer that he will keep his silence and if he does not, you be the strong one!!! I know it will be difficult, but I have faith you can do it. Do it for your Mom; she is going through her own despair with the drama.
I will say a prayer for you to be strong.
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Clara
------------------------------------ What don't kill you, makes you stronger!!!
I just wanted to thank ALL of you for responding to my post... I plan on reading it over 100 times till the 1st of May, and use it as strength... Thank you all for thinking of me, and keeping me in your prayers... The More the marrier...
This is a painfl time. It is always hard to go thru the belongs of a loved on and discard many of the "treasures they held dear'. This is equally difficult since your brother could have truly benefited from your fathers's home and he did not seize the opportunity. I understand that pain.
I am glad your husband and you ahve decided how to dispose of the possessions with the least possible trama on you and your family.
As for your broher. He has a disease. Alcoholism is very powerful. He is without a home and so is his entire family but he still cannot take constructivee actions to help himself. You handed him a solution and a safe place but his disease wouldnt let him have it. Try hard at Easter to reach for compassion within yourself for his disease.
Plan on having agood day with your mom and family and pray for your brother. He is lost at this point. He knows he has lost a great many good things in his life, try to let go of the anger and let in seenity for that day.
This is what I call life on life's terms. You now know what you have to get done. You will feel relieved when it's done. I say on May 2 you celebrate what you did! So often what we think the A's rock bottom should be isn't. I am still dumb founded by the stories I have heard. Who knows what his rock bottom is. Turn him over to his HP.
As for Easter if you can just be civil and tune out all the rest, all will be fine. I have a coin that I carry. When things get rough I rub that coin or grip it tight. (I use to carry a worry stone, but then I got afraid I might throw it at someone! ) Say the Serenity Prayer and remember to have an escape plan. You have to volunteer at a shelter. You need to go look after a neighbor who is sick. You have a headache. Sometimes these white lies are useful rather than hurting the other person's feelings. I use these when I have to go over to my sister's house and her A is acting up. I also make it clear to them that I have to be back at a certain time. I'd rather not hurt my sister's feelings as she has no form of recovery in her. So maybe that's the more gentle approach rather than hurting Mom's feelings. Good luck. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Holidays are a tough one especially with all you've dealt with. I'd suggest getting very busy that day so you have hardly any intereation with your A brother.
Obviously he's left you with a big mess. I have my own big mess to contend with from the exA. I railed and raged about it for a long long time. Now I'm simply cleaning up the mess. Acceptance is hard to get to but its worth getting there.
So often what we think the A's rock bottom should be isn't. I am still dumb founded by the stories I have heard. Who knows what his rock bottom is. Turn him over to his HP. 
) Say the Serenity Prayer and remember to have an escape plan. You have to volunteer at a shelter. You need to go look after a neighbor who is sick. You have a headache. Sometimes these white lies are useful rather than hurting the other person's feelings. I use these when I have to go over to my sister's house and her A is acting up. I also make it clear to them that I have to be back at a certain time. I'd rather not hurt my sister's feelings as she has no form of recovery in her. So maybe that's the more gentle approach rather than hurting Mom's feelings. Good luck. Much love and blessings to you and your family.