The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I suffer from clinical depression. I cannot blame my depression on anything or anyone. However, when things kind of pile up on me, I go down in the dumps. That is where I am today.
First of all, my AD has the family in a drama situation. Even if I ignore her phone calls, I still worry(my own fault). Never know when she calls if she is going to hate me or love me that day.
Second, my very stable daughter in Houston, her husband has been without a job since Thanksgiving. I can tell it is starting to wear on her. Every Friday night, she and I have a "phone date". We talk, sometimes 2 hours about everything under the sun. Most of it is positive; such as books we have read, her week, my week and of course my lovely twin granddaughters.
Lately, I can barely stretch the conversation to 25 minutes and it is me doing most of the talking. She has a very good job(she has a master's degree) and her husband also has a degree.I am just as worried about her as I am the AD.
And finally, nearly 2 weeks ago, we were struck by lightning. Lucky the house did not burn down. We lost everything tied to the phone line; DVR, Satelite Dish, all of our phones, the big TV, and this computer. I think this episode was the straw that broke the camel's back for me.
We are finally back to 100% now. Computer fixed, all phones working, DVR and satelite replaced and new TV delivered today.
I should count my blessings(and I really have) that the house did not burn down.
Anyway, just wanted to vent and this is the best place for me today. Husband is getting tired of my venting-----
__________________
Clara
------------------------------------ What don't kill you, makes you stronger!!!
I read your post and wish I could offer you more, but I am struggling so much right now I'm not sure any ESH from me would matter........ I just keep telling myself.......THIS TOO SHALL PASS and as horrible as I feel right now I am right where I'm supposed to be......
shelly
__________________
Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
(((clara))) I'm so sorry- that sounds so hard! Depression makes doing the LAUNDRY seem overwhelming, let alone real problems. Can you get out to a meeting? Or at least a walk? Just knowing I have a supportive group of people out there helps me through the worst of my depressions. Take care of yourself.
one of the best things I have found for my own busy worrying mind is a very busy body- I run. I walk. I ride my bike all over. I take both tai chi and qi gong. We get better when we get busy and for me, a busy body is key plus its been proven to improve our body chemistry and have a positive effect on depression. Hugs, J.
Detachment and focusing on ourselves is such hard going. When I first heard about it I rebelled. Gradually over time I saw other people doing it so I was willing to do it. Now other people's issues are not mine. The boundary is not blurred. I can know where I end and others begin. Believe me I have tremendous overwhelming issues to focus on. I have plenty on my plate. I am kind, generous and warm to others but no longer totally enmeshed.
