The material presented
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level.
It is not starting out to be a good day. We have the awaited counseling tonight. My husband told me about it last night. The appointment is for 8PM and he picked one forty minutes away. I am a nervouse wreck.
Then I woke with a headache and ended up having a minor accident with the bus this morning. The back end took a mirror off a car parked on a narrow street. My boss called the police, they said it was nothing major, the bus companies mechanics will fix the mirror. I know it wasn't a big deal but I have never hit anything in all the years I have been driving a bus. My boss told me to stop beating myself up, that it happens.
I'm going to take a hot bath and try and get this day back on track. I don't know why I am so worried but I just have this horrible feeling in my stomach and head. I am not expecting anything good to come out of this, so I can't be let down, I just feel stressed out and afraid.
You don't know....don't go in with ANY expectations. Just go in, be honest. Apply your al anon steps. Go, let go, let God. One meeting in counseling, is like one meeting in al anon. You can't base anything on one meeting, it's just the beginning.
If you're worried of the 40 minute ride, go yourself if you can, listen to your favorite music, or go with him & listen to your favorite music. Mediatate, or read you daily lit on the way there.
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Come back when you need us, come back, we need you.
Your friend, ~De Anna~ 8-D
very impressive (he wants to work on things - maybe)
and very scary - how will it go.
If it were me I would do things for myself toget my hair/nails done. Take a walk, just something to lift my spirits.
And here is the obsessive side of me: when confronted with something new I do a lot of research - ie investigation of things on the web.
do you have the counselors name? Perhaps you could do a search? Who knows - knowledge is power.
best of luck to you this evening....
How is your A getting there? Will he be sober? Will you ride him and he is drunk - no answers needed - just these are the thoughts that would be racing through my head if my A ever actually made an appointemnt for us of this nature...
Take care of you
Megan
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Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
I too am surprised he did schedule it. But I won't read too much into that, who knows why he did.
He was drunk when he told me about it, and he wants to go in one car. It scares me because by 8 he is usually drunk and I will not let him drive if he is. If he is dunk, I am just going to call and cancel.
I did look them up, they have a website, and I read about the counselors backround and credentials. Seems okay.
I just do not want to be in a car with him for 40 minutes before and after.
I have no expectations, and I will not be a whipping post. I have a busy day today, I will just get through it the best I can. I feel a little better after Tylenol and a bath, at least the headache is gone.
Hi Jeannie...accept it just as your boss said to do. These things happen. It could have been a lot worse. Good luck tonight at 8. You can do it. Meanwhile, take that long, hot bath with lots of suds, some candles, and some soothing music. You'll have a fresh outlook. Best to you, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Okay, good thing that you looked up the credentials it always helps to have that in mind.
My hubby too when he drinks is drunk by 8. he has said he wants to go to alanon meetings with me and I have said sure as long as they are open.
By the time 8 is around he is drunk and not wanting to go (thankfully)
the 40 minutes each way will likely be torture to you as he pleads his case...etc..you know best.
Is there any way to INSIST and meet him at the counsellor?
I am glad your headache is gone, at least it is a beautiful day out.
Several years ago when I was at a very difficult time in my life I had a minor fender bender - turned out to be with a VP of the company I work for. be gentle with yourself, you have alot going on and it is just a vehicle.....
Take care
megan
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Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
Hi Jeannie, relax this is a good thing finally u will get to say how u feel with a referee, hehe. Be honest tell the councelor exactlywhat has been going on be honest but not hurtfull, remember the line say what you mean , mean what u say just don't be mean when u say it,stick to the truth and you can't go wrong.
And remember your Higer Power goes where ever you do so u are not alone. Often when going in to unfamiliar places I look over my shoulder and say are ya here God? just part of my daily contact routine for me.
Jeannie, Wish you the best in the counseling session tonight. Hope you can relax alittle before hand and get through those nerves. Sorry to hear about the little fender bender, or rather mirror bender this morning, these things do happen, and your boss is right dont make a big deal about it..you'll laugh bout it later on. Hope your day gets back on track and you have a good day and evening.
First of all, good luck tonight. I can't imagine how tough this must be for you.
Second, I would suggest that you take your own vehicle. Whether you drive with your husband as a passenger or you drive him is not the point. From what you have said in earlier posts, he is going to yammer at you and try to make you feel like you are the bad person here. Cancelling at this juncture will only reinforce that in his mind. Please don't allow him ANY leverage in a long car drive. Take your own car, no matter how inconvenient. It's your sanity and your feeling of well-being as you begin this counseling session that is important. You don't need to walk into the session feeling beaten up before you even get started. Let your husband show his true colors in front of the counselor, not after he's had the opportunity to vent all over you.
I agree with what the others have said - take care of you, treat yourself well this afternoon and during your 40 minute drive, listen to music that inspires you and lifts your spirits. Whatever happens tonight happens and stressing over it won't change that. It could be an exercise in futility OR it could be the start of something good and cleansing. Either way, you beating yourself up, isn't going to change it. All you can do is believe in the love, prayers and support you are receiving here and also that you are going to come out of this stronger and maybe more aware. But my experience is that, stressing over things you cannot control only makes you feel worse. Concentrate on you, on feeling good about yourself, about the fact that spring is in the air and that no matter what happens tonight, YOU are taking an important and forward step in YOUR recovery. His recovery is not your concern.....
Good luck to you Jeannie.....
~arwyn
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"Life is not so short but that there is always time enough for courtesy."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I wish you were taking your own vehicle too. But, know that you have alot of people's positive energy with you. I agree with the above replies. They are all great! :) Keep us updated. cdb
Good luck tonight Jeannie! I know how hard this is...been there,done that. I was terrified. Got phisically sick. Later I realized I was looking at this as the "Big Showdown" and I was afraid of all the backlash that would come my way if I stood up for myself and told the truth about how I felt. (As a doormat I was very afraid of any kind of confrontation.)
Well anyway the meeting was fine. The counselor was skilled and he kept things under control so that I felt safe. The only outcome of the first meeting was that it was decided that we needed seperate appointments....whewwwww! I felt such releif! Please wrap yourslef in the love of your higher power and this fellowship as you travel over there tonight! This is just one step of many in a very long process. I wish you peace tonight. And thanks for sharing :)
