The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
any suggestions on how to move forward past the hurt and anger of past event? I am having a difficult time letting go and not reacting. Also, I think I am just forgetting instead of forgiving.
Still hurting today brightmommy
-- Edited by brightmommy on Tuesday 31st of March 2009 08:41:56 PM
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"if you can't say nothing nice, don't say nothing at all!!"
The way I work it is to live in the NOW. If I'm living in yesterday, dragging old stuff in to today, it's like walking through mud as I try to move forward with all the old baggage. What is in the past should remain there because it is not where I am today.
If you think about it, all we really ever have is NOW. The past is gone and the future is not here. Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I identify with "forgetting" and not forgiving. I did not know the difference before alanon. When I told nmyself to forget and start anes. The old anger and resentment remained hidden within. Anytime a new situation arose that resembled the old hurt, I reacted to the new situation and then immediately went into all the old past stuff.
The best release I had from the old resentments were the 4th-7th steps. I had to get really honest about the old hurts, resentments, and anger that I had deep down.
I had to really feel the feelings, own my part and talk to another person about it. I then prayed daily for the anger and resentment to lift. Used the other tools, gratitude, living in the day, and how important is it. In time I found the old triggers were lifted and I could simply act and not react.
It is a process. Keep showing up, your new awareness is awesome.
Great topic. My experience is when I learned acceptance of the fact of what was and did happen my anger went away. As for hurt...I cannot practice self love and compassion and hurt at the same time so when I start feeling hurt I switch over to self love, acceptance and compassion (never pity!!). (((((hugs)))))
