The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My husband had an appointment with a rheumatologist this morning for his chronic back pain. My son and I were on our way out of the house for an activity when he came home. He didn't look good and said the appointment didn't go well. I apologized for having to leave (we were running late). I asked him not to have a beer and to call my dad instead (my dad has been in recovery for almost 25 years and is a very comforting person to talk with) and I would talk with him when we got back home. Well we get home and he's drinking a beer, on the phone with my dad. UGHHHH! I think I need to find my 2nd meeting tonight.
Dissapointing!! I've felt that sooo many times!! But, it was his decision to drink and there's nothing you can do about it. Get to a meeting and keep us posted, and hope your husband gets better.
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Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
When I finally got the ESH from my sponsor and others about setting myself up with expectations and commenced to practice it the level of pain I use to get when she drank in spite of my expectations when way down. I learned to expect what it was that the alcoholic was most likely to do...drink. Wasn't right or wrong or good or bad is was the disease of alcoholism and it will run inspite of me or the alcoholic. Expectations are future resentments is another thing I learned. I don't like resentments either. I hope you got to your meeting. Best place for me when I am not doing so good all by myself.
Loved Jerry's response (as usual) - asking an alcoholic not to drink is kinda like asking a bank robber to guard a bank..... My sponsor used to remind me & make me answer the following question:
"why do we keep thinking that sick and irrational people will behave in healthy and rational ways?"
Take care Tom
-- Edited by canadianguy on Tuesday 31st of March 2009 01:27:28 AM
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
