The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I spent this weekend at an AA convention with al anon participation.
WOW
I met some of the most amazing people and recieved lots of gudance from HP.
One AA member shared he was in a relationship with a nother AA member and how in an argument he had told her he she needed a meeting, he laughed and said he was focusing on her recovery and not his own (first a ha moment).
Then I went o the cinema at the conference showinf films relating to alcoholism the film advertised was not shown I believe HP stepped in the gentleman said ladies what would you like to watch? He put on when a man loves a women with Meg Ryan
2nd (a ha moment) I saw myself in the alocoholics husband trying to control, not respecting them as adults again he was concentrating on his wife recovery not his own he finally went to al anon I suggest this film it was amazing.
From then on over the whole weeend I saw that AA and Al anon members where really on a very similar journey. AA members fighting their addiction to alcohol and Al anon fighting their addictions to fixing. Most had to come through denial to begin their recoveries.
The conference was called new beginings wow I have been in Al anon for 18 months and think I finally realise I am sick very sick. I focus on another humans life in fact everyone elses lives problems. I look at everyone and take their inventories for them. I intend to now start my new begining and try to focus on me.
I was confuse where this left me with my AB I can not change him fix him and my focus goes off me when he is around. I spoke to him before and shared what I have posted here. I got very emtional told him that I loved him wished he had been with me. I told him I am sick and that I am on a journey of recovery. I told him I needed to be with healthy people who were in recovery, and that I couldn't have a relationship with him unless he got honest like me. He got angrey of course kept saying he wanted to see me I said no I dont want him in my life till he faces the truth.
I am in pain and I am not doing this to make him change I am doing this for me. I can not live like this anymore watching someone I love lie to themself. I have let him go if he goes into AA in future who knows I am handing this all over to HP. I am going to ask HP to help me to keep the focus on me. I have been honest with my AB. I am recovering its up to him what he does but I will not have a relationship with an alocoholic in denial.
sounds like you had a good time. I am glad you are focusing on your recovery. I have to say its been a long hard path for me but I'm so grateful to be in al anon.
Thank You for sharing how powerful a convention can be.
Discovering the true benefit of the phrase of "Focus on Yourself" is one of the many miracles of attending meeetings, posting and being around people in recovery.
I admire your program and hope you will continue to share your process here.
I focus on another humans life in fact everyone elses lives problems. I look at everyone and take their inventories for them.
This reminds me greatly of myself. I drive myself crazy with this. Sometimes I think about how much I am missing out on while being consumed with the inventorying of others.
Focussing on myself is a reminder I need today. Thank you. It takes deliberate choice and focus. It doesn't come naturally.
