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I've been suffering from panic attacks and anxiety for a few months now. I saw a therapist for the first time yesterday and after explaining all the things that have been going on in my life the past few years, she is convinced that my anxiety is because of my husband's drinking.
We're dealing with a lot of stuff right now and I think that's why my anxiety has gotten worse. I can't remember if I mentioned this on the board or not, but my husband got a DUI in February with our son in the car (which is an automatic felony), so he's looking at jail time. He has a lawyer, but we're not sure how much magic he can work. We have no idea what will happen to him. We don't know if or for how long he will be in jail. We don't know if he'll lose his job. We don't know if he'll lose his pharmacy license. And he's the only one working because I'm a stay-at-home mom. Of course he's not working at the moment. He is on medical leave from work because of back pain. He's been dealing with back pain for years and he needs to find a way to get his pain managed with the proper medication. He's been working with a doctor for a few years and the doctor doesn't seem to want to prescribe the medication that my husband wants. So now he needs to find a new doctor.
My Dad is in town visiting at the moment and he's a big supporter of the program - he's been sober for almost 25 years. He thinks I need to start going to al-anon meetings because I told him that I'm feeling depressed and alone (especially when I think about the fact that he's heading back home in a few days and I won't have him around). I'm willing to go to meetings - I just hope they can help me.
I have no control over any of this stuff that's going on with my husband and the anxiety is killing me. I'm really hoping that with a combination of therapy, medication, and al-anon, I can get my anxiety under control.
My question is. . . .has anyone else being diagnosed with anxiety because of an alcoholic in their life? Were you able to get treatment for it?
I grew up in this life (acoa) so by 15 I had a nerve disorder - excema & when I saw the dermatologist & he yelled at me saying, "What on Earth does a fifteen year old have to be nervous about?!" - I mean seriously, a doctor yelled at me - way to allow me to feel any better/more relaxed.
Once married to a pill popping addict @ 28... well I took diazapem for my anxiety for over a decade. Valium works well but it is highly addictive & I took it a fairly long time. I'm not an addict but I sure liked the stuff.
"I have no control over any of this stuff that's going on with my husband and the anxiety is killing me." - n8smom
You sd a mouthful right there ~ once I stopped focusing on others & began focusing on me - a person that can appreciate my own good changes - everything in my life changed.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
My anxiety has markedly decreased since working the program and using the tools. Now I know whenever I get upset what the basis is and where it's coming from, and I never blame anyone or anything for it anymore. It doesn't matter that someone else is drinking; I have a life. I would really recommend that you go to the meetings and you work the program hard. I think your anxiety will decrease hugely if you go for it.
My experience is, get your anxiety under control before it starts to physically hurt you.
I have always had panic attacks. Since I was a little kid. No one cared or believed me as I was in an A home. So, I figured out how to deal with them on my own.
Then, I married a crack addict. And had kids with him. Anxiety thru the roof. To the point where it felt like my brain was on fire. The ONLY relief I got was in an alanon meeting. Seriously, for at least a year the ONLY peace I had was that hour meeting.
And six years later, I have adrenal (sp?) burnout and a serious thyroid issue. Every Dr I have seen in the past 6 years I tried to explain how the stress was effecting me physically, internally. I guess I never said the right words.
I have been on anti-depressants and they helped a bit. But what I needed the Drs refused me. I KNEW my body needed a break from the adrenline, I knew a pill could give me that relief. But I never found a Dr who understood this. Consequently, I am sick, I have damamge internally from the stress. In these 6 years, I have used every tool I can to stop the adrenline release. And it did get better.
I am now on thyroid meds which the Dr says will help alot with my anxiety. Finally.
Excersise, friends, meetings, shopping, manicures, massages, journaling, laughing (that's the best I have found). Anything you can do to start taking care of yourself. Start now, don't let the anxiety hurt you. It's not worth it.
I have been having to deal with anxiety and stress for over ten years with deaths of my parents, my second son diagnosis of Autism, and my oldest son's beginning his use of alcohol and drugs at the age of 18.
I did therapy, which helped me some looking back on it now, I wasn't ready to be told the truth about my son's addiction and what my choices were, I still thought I had some control over his addiction, I now know better.
I have been on a very long road with all these issues, and I have learned to, as much as a mother can, to detach from some things. I take Xanax (strictly by prescribed dosage) this has helped me just to take the edge off some days. I first didn't want to use a prescription to help my anxiety but I began to understand if something eased me, I should take advantage of it.
I have often thought of you since you posted back in February just after your husband got his DUI, I am so glad you came back to talk. I wish I knew more to tell you, it is just something we each have to work out for ourselves the best way we can cope.
Coming here and talking with people that truly do understand addiction, and can just give you a kind encouraging word is a treasure.
Please come back and let us know how you are doing..
Thank you all for your encouraging, supportive stories. Anxiety is definitely not an easy thing to deal with and I'm glad I'm taking the bull by the horns and being proactive early.
I would also like you all to know that I attended my first Al-Anon meeting today. I had to take a Xanax beforehand because I was worried about having a panic attack since it was such a small room, but I did just fine and was so glad I went. It seemed like such a comforting and welcoming environment. I cried - I've been very weepy lately, but I made sure to have tissues with me. It was nice to listen to others speak - I only spoke briefly saying my name and why I was there. It was an ACOA meeting, so I guess I qualified to be there (even though Dad has been sober for 25 years). I am looking forward to checking out other meetings in my area. OH NO!!! I'm an Al-Anon Addict! LOL!
you are really in the best place. I can not tell you the anxiety, sadness and pain I have experienced worring about my partner and his drinking. However al non has given me back my life it has given me tools to help me deal with loving a person who is very sick. If I am feeling anxious I come on here and post someone will normall share something that really helps me to change my thinking for the better. I read al non literature, I have a sponsor and go to two face to face meetings a week. This week i went to a convention all I can say is Wow. all these things have changed my thinking for the better which in turn has combated my anxiety. I still get worried anxious etc but now i have was of dealing with it, it doesnt last as long and I feel so much better. All I can say is I want to be happy that is why I work so hard at this because I have seen people like your dad who have been through really bad times but are now content and have surenity
I don't see why any doctors wouldn't help you out with the kind of pressure you are under. How wonderful you have someone in your family who can help you out. Generally a DUI isn't an offence that gets prison the first time to my knowledge and any attorney who's experienced in that gets them knocked down. What it does cost is money, generally about 10K in all with fines, lawyers fees. If you are anxious why not talk to the attorney and ask him what he thinks. My ex A was up for reckless driving and his attorney (who was a public defender) made it that he didn't have to go to jail (there were mitigating factors with his health).
In Al anon we take the focus off the A and put it on ourselves. There are skills you can learn that will help, Detaching is one of them. Of course for many of us when we get here we need emergency help and al anon can help you with that. Go to the chat room here, go to meetings here. If you are really anxious they are guaranteed to help.
