The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
A lady in a meeting last week talked about how she hated the slogans when she first started AlAnon and thought they were trite, of course that was then. I had to laugh because I was the same way. How could a slogan or a little "chant" as I used to tease my EXABF ever solve or help my problems??? Today in the midst of my busy crazy life it hit me.........EASY DOES IT and One Day at a Time is all you have. Been talking off an on with EXABF and we are just "there". I don't know if we are making progress or not- but it's only been a week since our first date. Truth is I don't trust him at all, and I hope and pray to God that I can again one day, but today I don't. That lack of trust causes me to project and obsess and I just can't keep up with that anymore in my life. I don't believe anything he says to me and from this point on it is going to have to all be about his actions or lack there of. He wrote last week that it wasn't about what he was ready for or capable of but that it is going to be about what feel natural and right or what doesn't. For me it is about what I am shown, because words mean little to me now after all we've been through. And to be fair he is showing little things here and there, but not enough of anything to make me want to jump back in or involve my son. Time will tell, one day at a time. Yesterday as I was starting to project the slogans were flying at me from all directions and I just stopped and thought EASY DOES IT.......today is all you have to work with......focus on your HP and your program and what's meant to be will be. And the relief was there to be had. I thought back to last weeks meeting and how I had laughed at the other lady and her opnion of slogans and how mine were the same at one point. I guess we all learn by living......
thanks for letting me share
shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
For many years here, I thought the program was too easy, too simple, doing the opposite of what I wanted to was stupid ~ it took me a very long time & a member here kept saying, "try it & prove me wrong". Well, u know, I just had to! Low & behold, this very simple program for abused, hurt & extremely complicated people, actually does work when you work it.
Someone mentioned the Secret on another thread & another movie I enjoyed was, what the bleep do we know? It is all about manifesting what you want & how to do it. You are so right, about focusing on now & the present moment is all we have. Once I managed to get there - in the moment - even though I had plenty of practise feeling my mind projecting on outcomes (I began to think of projecting, like mental masturbation - although it is probably even more destructive b/c it keeps us from living) & then reeling my mind back onto this present moment. Now it hardly ever happens but it was such a challenge at first, I thought I could never stop obsessing!
So what I'm saying, is with regards to A b/f - just feel the moment, no specific outcome is necessary. You are starting ur relationship over & they take time to develop. Have no expectations & just see how it feels ~ there is no rush.
That was new thinking for me too, as I rushed, demanded impatiently & forced outcomes (whether they were solutions or not - they were outcomes that it seemed like I was addicted to interfering with). I am much more effective now & can enjoy my life today - not stress over what I want to happen next - but genuinely just enjoy myself!
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
I am not a slogan person. It isn't that I haven't found an epiphany, it's simply that I do not use slogans. TO me they sound trite and silly. Some are worse than others. THis is a matter of taste, and I find nothing wrong with anyone using them or living by them. I find if I read Desiderata every day, all that I need to live by is included in its wise words.
Best to all, slogans or not!! :)
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Yep, I thought I was a little too "hip and cool" to ever need those silly little slogans from "back in the day."
It's an amazing thing when I turn my will and life over to something bigger than my ego. I find myself comforted and guided by the wisdom of those "silly little slogans" quite often. Two of my favorites this week are "How important is it?" and "Keep it Simple." The slogans are an ideal way to re-direct my thoughts to something much more helpful. My mind can be like a runaway train if I don't step on the breaks by thinking something positive and optimistic. Before al-anon, I didn't know how to stop that runaway train. Thanks shelly!
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
