The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well after the mounds of anxiety yesterday that I went through, I went home, regrouped and again crawled into bed with all my Al Anon books and started reading. I decided that I did not want to "stuff" my feelings over what EXABF had done and that I was not going to let it rob me of my sanity either. I sent him a simple email that stated my honest feelings " I was sad that you chose not to post my comment but I understand that it was your choice" and then I just let it go. It is not worth my sanity and I will not play games with him or anyone anymore. Letting it go was soooo rewarding and renewing. I realized that my focus has to be on nothing more than my HP's will for me and trusting that and trusting Him to lead me where I need to go, with or without EXABF. And every single time I let that focus slip I start obsessing and controling all over again......so the best thing I can do is focus on me and only me (I think now I am FINALLY getting it:)) I also realized that I am worth something, and worth loving and being with. I used to be one of the most confident women around. The past and what EXAH and EXABF has done, (not once but twice), took a toll on my self esteem and my self worth and it is high time that I find that pretty girl that I let him bury with his baffling and cunning illness. Let him add 20 new women to his page, let him post all their comments-they are NOT me and NEVER will be.......and he knows that and it's high time I start believing in me again and seeing what others have always seen, and trusting that I am right where I need to be...... trying to live and let live shelly
__________________
Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
See I knew you had it in ya :) That is all any of us can do, and I am so blessed to have You and the "MIP" lol... Family for support... I bounce back Sooooo Much quicker, and I see that you are as well... That alone means something:) We Rock and were "get'r done"
I'm Proud of ya girly... Good for you for taking back your "Wind" keep It simple... One Moment at A Time:) ....
Love & Prayers Jozie
For today I will cross my fingers that HIS HP Has a Plan.... :)
and were "get'r done" 